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Not all superheroes wear capes

Mothers are superheroes in true sense of the word but they must abstain from the belief of doing it all

Not all superheroes wear capes
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Mother's Day is a celebration honouring mothers around the world. It goes beyond celebrating motherhood, maternal bond and is an admiration of how mothers influence society. Going with the tradition of celebrating it on the first Sunday of May, we have it today. Happy Mother's Day to all the lovely mothers out there.

Being a mother is an unparalleled responsibility. After all, our lives begin with waking up to and loving our mother's face. The influence of a mother lasts lifelong for the child she bears. These days mothers may double down playing multiple roles in a household, like being the breadwinners of the house, and playing an equal role at home, and even outside in their fields.

Mothers, whether new or seasoned, embrace a myriad emotion. They often struggle with embracing their emotions, and this can make them vulnerable to depression and anxiety. As mothers, we all strive to be supermoms. It is a sad thing that supermom syndrome is a common condition. It is the delusional belief held by a mother that she is capable of doing all things, for all the people in her life, at all times while perfectly managing herself. This is far from the truth.

All mothers are superheroes in their unique way. But alas, the grass is always greener on the other side. You may see a "fit mom" and envy her time management skills to be able to work out. Another mom may be a "super baker" and you wonder how she does it, while the mom on social media manages to achieve "the mom blogger" status and you yearn for the fame.

No superhero has all the qualities. And no two superheroes are the same. You are unique in your own way and have your gifts. The super quality could be "trivial" to you but an important one to your child and that is all that matters.

Here is a list of things you can do to avoid the Supermom Syndrome:

Acknowledge: Know that we all have limitations and specializations. Dig deep to find them both.

Ask for help: This can't be emphasized enough. It takes a village to raise a child, and you may need some help from your partner and loved ones in doing so too.

The 'good-enough' mom: Winnicott, a paediatrician and child psychotherapist, studied thousands of babies and their relationship with their mothers. He realised that infants and children do well in life when their mothers fail them in manageable ways. It Means that if kids are not put in "perfect" ideas of their mothers, they grow up with more realistic expectations from themselves and the world as well. So relax if you can't be perfect all the time.

PPD is real: Post-partum depression is real. Observe if you or a friend has any signs and talk to an expert.

Social media detox: Focus on the real world more. Often the "perfection" depiction on social media can be misleading.

Support system: Find similar minds to blend with and share your concerns. If you relate with others, you will notice that life gets easier. Support other mothers in their journey and don't forget to build other mothers up, and not tear them down for their mistakes.

Send your questions to help@dreradutta.com

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