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Mother's Day: Mommy's vocab

Enlisted terms best define certain present-day ‘motherly’ behaviours that need to be recognised, acknowledged and modified if needed, to normalise the idea of self-care alongside motherhood

Mothers Day: Mommys vocab
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This Mother's Day, get on board with the new-age mom glossary around trends and identify the ones you resonate with.

Mom guilt: The unsurmountable, unexplainable and unnecessary guilt that mothers feel around their kids. For most women, it is almost a righteous path through motherhood. Whether it is the mom's guilt about going back to work or about spending time on self-care. Know that you are not alone. Tennis giant Serena Williams cited she faces mom guilt when she does something alone.

New mothers can look at the guilt as a sign of love they have for their little one but not at the stake of being self-sacrificial. Dear mothers, try to balance self-care against baby time.

Mom haircut: A mom's hairdo or mom's haircut is usually a short, low-maintenance style. Most mothers choose a messy cut, a quick bun, or a short bob hair cut that is easy to maintain. New mothers often lose hair in the first-year postpartum due to changing demands on the body, stress, stopping multivitamins and erratic sleep hours. In fact, hair loss is a common cause of stress in the first year post-delivery.

For taking care of your hair, check with a dermatologist, amp up on the vitamins, eat healthy and be patient.

Mom bod: The new post-baby body that one tends to despise. More women say that they have higher body image dissatisfaction after the birth of their children.

Mommies, be patient and keep on giving love to your body for it has made you the mother you are today. Nurture, love and accept your new ever-evolving body.

Tiger mother: No one admits to being one, but everyone recognises this trait in others when they see it. A term used to refer to the parenting style of a mother who may believe in strict, pushy, obedience-abiding and firm parenting. The children are expected to succeed in everything, and the mother may do everything to achieve it (including revolving their identity around the kids, quitting jobs and being available 24/7).

Helicopter mom: A mother who may be constantly buzzing around their kids to micromanage their every move. They may take over all areas of decision making to make the child's life easier and hassle-free. The intent is pure, to help prevent the little one from making mistakes or even protect them from the world out there. But this can backfire. Children can begin to resent such parenting. It can also hamper their own decision-making skills due to over-dependence.

Depleted mother syndrome (DMS): Another way to describe mom burnout syndrome. DMS occurs when there is excessive demand on the mother and her resources are decreasing. For example, a child may fall sick, and at the same time, the staff or house help leaves. This results in the mother's emotional sensitivity increasing, with external and internal triggers becoming heightened. Mothers may cry, snap, or get angry easily.

Rest and rejuvenate. Don't forget to ask for help from your partner and other loved ones, for it takes a village to raise a child.

Mom envy: social media has bred immense mom envy. The constant comparison with the mothers who may appear flawless, with perfect hair and make-up while citing parenting tips to follow can breed contempt, envy and even sadness.

Mompostor syndrome: A mother who suffers from impostor syndrome. An impostor syndrome is perceived fraudulence, despite being able to do well, while having feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence.

Imagine if you can manage and achieve things, but still are full of self-doubt and question your every move. Most new mothers resonate. Even if you do well, maybe you believe it to be a streak of good luck rather than take credit for it. Many mothers have deep-rooted self-doubt due to societal norms, the newness of motherhood, expectations from them and more. A mompostor may believe she is not a good mother and operate from a place of deficit.

Supermom or perfect mom syndrome: There is no perfect mother. Perfection is grossly overrated. Try being a good enough mother instead of a perfect mother. The concept of "good enough mother" was coined by the British paediatrician and psychoanalyst DW Winnicott in his famous book, 'Playing and Reality'. It involves making mistakes and recognising that we are all human after all. It also encompasses allowing your little one to go through small periods of frustration and not give a perfectly manicured life devoid of any difficulties. This can help set your little one up for better adapting to the future.

Many of these are just popular new age terms, and not diagnostic labels. Mothers are special and they should ideally be celebrated all year round.

If you are a mom, invest time in self-love and self-care. After all, you should love yourself the way you love your little one.

Send your questions to help@dreradutta.com

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