Know 'your' love!

What is love? Love is patient, love is kind, love is understanding. Love may be so many things, and yet we struggle to understand it.

We all love to be loved. It makes the world go around. When we see someone we love, our heart thumps faster, our pupils dilate, blood starts to rush in our veins — sometimes making us feel light-headed, and our brain begins to pump happy chemicals. Even though love is a commonly used word, often most of us don't understand the meaning of it. The way we love someone may differ vastly from how they love us back and that can make or break a relationship. Your love style can be different from that of your partner.

Various forms of love are:

Eros aka passionate love

When you meet someone the first few times and there is an intense palpable physical and emotional chemistry, almost like fireworks, then this love style is called eros. It is often correlated to sexual intimacy, lust and fantasy. A surge of neurochemicals make you feel woozy and attracted to your partner. The negative part is that sometimes the high from this form of love can come almost crashing down.

Storge aka friendly love

Storge is a deep infinite love built upon friendship, connection and emotional acceptance. In these relationships the best of friends grow fond of each other and foster a strong compatible relationship. Compassion, care and understanding is upheld in such relationships and there is plenty of room for forgiveness.

Pragma aka love with pragmatism/practicality

Imagine a practical approach to love. One where there is ample space and room for both partners to grow together as well as work towards their goals individually while being secure in a relationship. In today's day and age where the relationships are a 50-50 equation, some may consider these relationships almost business-like or modern day unions where more and more couples are comfortable staying in long distance relationships with commitment. Instead of falling in love you decide to stand united in love while maintaining your individuality.

Ludus aka playful uncommitted love

Popularly called the honeymoon phase of a relationship. Here flirtation, teasing, light moments, and laughter become the bond between two individuals who try to have fun with each other. Commitment doesn't become a focal point in such relationships. In fact, sometimes these relationships are brief and short-lived because the focus is more on the chase than the actual end goal. Individuals who find it hard to settle for one partner and commit to a relationship, often identify with this love style.

Mania – obsessive and possessive love

To love like a maniac. Extreme highs and lows exist in such a relationship. An obsessive feeling of possessiveness, jealousy and codependency develops towards your partner. Such relationships may lack trust and at times are one-sided, involving stalkers.

Agape: selfless love

A selfless, compassionate love that focuses on the other partner's needs more than one's own. A person who has this style may be willing to endure difficulties that arise from their partner's circumstances and give in all their demands. This may sound like a dream but can at times get stifling if only one person is always "giving" while the other person is "taking" in the relationship, making the relationship imbalanced.

Philautia : self love

A healthy form of love that you recognise for your own self-worth. Your focus is balanced upon your own and your partner's needs. You nurture your physical, emotional and mental health.

According to some studies, men tend to be more lucid, whereas women tend to be storgic and pragmatic. However, relationships based on similar love styles are found to last longer. People often subconsciously look for those with the same love style as themselves for a relationship.

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