Ending it all

Lost my brother to suicide last year. He was young, a newly trained pilot, and in the past had battled and fought over depression and won. Last year he seemed to be stressed during the pandemic lockdown due to the aviation industry temporarily shutting down. He told my parents that he was guilty that so much money had been spent on him and he couldn't find a job in his passion field of aviation. He left the world and left us with many unanswered questions. What could we have done different as a family?

Suicide means ending your own life. It is sometimes a way for people to escape pain or suffering. When someone ends their own life, we say that they "died by suicide." A "suicide attempt" means that someone tried to end their life, but did not die.

Sorry to hear about your loss. Your brother died by suicide and certainly talking about it openly is a way to prevent the potential loss of many more lives.

September 10 each year is celebrated as World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day. Something that should be done literally every day of the year, since, every 40 seconds, someone loses their life to suicide.

Causes of suicide

Suicidal thoughts are quite complex. No two people think alike, and hence, the factors that lead to it are quite complex.

Certain life event factors (break up, loss of job, loss of a relationship, financial burden); stressors, genetics, predisposing factors like mental health disorders (anxiety, depression, psychosis, substance abuse) and previous attempts can contribute towards it. The pandemic has increased the feelings of isolation and vulnerability for many.

Suicide aftermath

A suicide survivor or survivor of suicide is one of the family members and friends of someone who had died by suicide.

Most families struggle with the loss the way you have described. Why them? How? What could have been done? Why didn't the person approach us? Guilt follows through and sometimes can lead to depression in the survivor as well.

These are genuine feelings arising from grief. Please know that as a suicide survivor you can try your best to understand the situation, yet struggle to accept it. Seeking mental health professional's consult is a good way to help process the grief.

Closure in a Psychological autopsy

Psychological autopsy is one of the most valuable tools of research on completed suicide. A detailed interview with the family members, friends, relatives, psychiatrists and doctors helps build up the last few moments of the deceased and provide some closure to the loved ones.

What can we do as a society?

✯ Talk freely about mental health

✯ Identify and address psychological issues

✯ Be open about our feelings

✯ Ask for help and get help to our loved ones

✯ Have more suicide helplines

Remember, a suicide attempt is not an act of weakness or attention, it's a cry for help and needs to be taken seriously.

How can you help?

You can help by being more aware. Take a look at our symptom checklist. If you know someone who fulfils more than five of the following, they may need your help. You can begin by gently broaching the topic of stress. If the changes in a loved one have been worrisome for quite some time you can recommend them to seek a mental health expert's help.

Myths and facts

Myth: Don't talk about suicide; else, one would start thinking about it.

Fact: This is the most common myth.

Encouraging someone to talk about suicidal wishes can help identify the problem and lead to a timely intervention to prevent it.

Myth: Those who threaten about suicide, are doing so merely for attention.

Fact: Figures have shown that more often than not, those who attempt suicide give some sort of warning to loved ones about their intentions. A warning should not be taken lightly.

Myth: All suicidal people are depressed

Fact: More often than not, yes. But there are other illnesses like substance abuse, anxiety, psychosis, bipolar disorder, post traumatic disorder and chronic illnesses which may contribute to suicidal attempts.

Myth: Suicide is only common in lower or very high strata of society.

Fact: Suicide is a problem that sees no boundaries of socio-economic strata. It is widely prevalent amongst people of all classes and walks of life.

Myth: Once someone has made up their mind to commit suicide, they cannot be stopped.

Fact: Suicide is a cry for help. Most suicides can be prevented with timely help. Those who attempt suicide, usually do so to stop their pain. They wish someone would understand and help them.

Red flags

Talk

If you notice someone constantly talking about:

✯ Being trapped

✯ Wanting to run away

✯ No zeal to live or no one to live for

✯ Being in constant physical and mental pain

Mood

Often there are mood changes in individuals who may be contemplating suicide

✯ Depression

✯ Irritability

✯ Guilt

✯ Anxiety

✯ Loss of interest

✯ Worthlessness, helplessness, and hopelessness

Behaviour

✯ Change in sleep patterns – too much or too little

✯ Searching online about means to harm themselves

v Getting rid of prized possessions

✯ Saying goodbye to loved ones

✯ Excessive self-destructive behavior e.g.- reckless driving, drugs, alcohol use

✯ Isolating self from others

✯ Denying any help from others

Another simple way to help would be by spreading knowledge, not myths about suicide.

Famous people died by suicide in India

Kushal Punjabi,

Sejal Sharma

Disha Salian

Sushant Singh Rajput

Asif Basra

Pratyusha Banerjee

Jiah Khan

Silk Smitha

Gurudutt

Suicide helplines in India

Govt MH Rehabilitation HELPLINE 'KIRAN': 1800-5990019

Vandrevala Foundation: 9999 666 555

Fortis hospital national helpline : 91-8376804102

I Call – 022-25521111, 9152987821

Roshni (040-66202000)

Sneha – 044-24640059

Jeevan Aastha Helpline: 1800 233 3330

Send your questions to help@dreradutta.com