‘You can’t make one love another’

‘You can’t make one love another’
I’m suffering from depression after I lost my mother last year. I’m unable to cope up.
Anjali Mathur, Greater Kailash

I completely feel what you are going through. Losing a parent/ near one is a very difficult situation. But, life goes on. I suggest, divert your mind on things. Enrol in some hobby, explore an interest, meet friends, plan a vacation. Always remember, your mother is watching you and she gets very upset seeing you unhappy! Your smile is not for you but for her. You will have to control your depression and move on. All the best!
I’m from a very conservative family. I haven’t ever had a boyfriend. My marriage has been arranged and I’m very nervous about the physical relation with my husband.
Gouri, Patna

Gouri, for generations and ages we have followed a cycle. Not just humans, but animals in general. Physical need is a very strong need and it has a huge contribution in the bond between two people. I suggest, don’t worry so much. Be relaxed and let your man take charge of it. Men are usually more advanced in this subject. Follow your instincts, reciprocate his actions and if you feel uncomfortable, just ask him to take it slow. Sex is beautiful when you feel ‘love’. Wish you the best always. Let love grow....rest will follow!

My elder brother is a very good student. I’m always asked to ‘be like him’. This irritates me too much. How can I handle this constant stress?
Arjun, New Delhi

How to handle? Simple. Just BE YOURSELF. I am not advising you to neglect studies or walk on a dark path which has no light. All I’m saying is - be your best. Put in your best. 
Study hard because studies have no substitute and will help your career. Use earphones to ward off the words that hurt you and don’t worry about ‘comparisons’. We all go through this! Emerge as a good human being and success will kiss your forehead.

My husband is an alcoholic. I’m a mother of two kids, aged 5 and 7. He doesn’t believe in protected sex. I’m scared of pregnancy and unable to communicate this to him. How can I handle my life?
unknown, Haryana

Please don’t sound like a helpless woman of yesteryears! Too many products/ medicines available that will make your sex life peaceful. Please consult your doctor now! Your life is in your hands. Your husband’s desire and demand can never command you to this extent that you feel helpless. Enjoy your physical chemistry but control your own life, you should!

I’m in love with someone who has no feelings for me. How can I make him love me?
Sangita, New Delhi.

You actually can’t ‘make’ one love the other! Yes, a genuine effort to express effectively should be there. So that, you don’t regret later. As they say - love defeated is always greater than what defeats it! If the ‘other’ has to love or reciprocate it will happen naturally. 
If not, always remember - better and best awaits..just a 
matter of time and your Mr. Right will take you out of the wrong situation.

Have a love or life query you cannot find an answer to? Send your questions to - roopshashotm@gmail.com
Roopsha Dasguupta

Roopsha Dasguupta

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