Millennium Post

Why I would Dump SRK, Cling to Clooney

Recently, two things of great importance to the world came to my attention simultaneously. As we go along, I will explain why it is significant that the two events occurred together. I watched Hollywood top dog George Clooney play a befuddled father and a betrayed husband to a dying woman. And I heard that the Alpha of the Khan brigade has been cheating on his wife of 20 years. This started a chain of thought about the quality of these men. Both attractive to a certain kind of women, some would say most women and some men. They are confident, wealthy and successful and glow in the spotlight. They even lead a pack of other uber cool modern men.

What do we call men like this? They ought to have a name. So that all the other, less fortunate men can aspire to be like them. Let’s call them the Metro-Sexual Alpha Male, or MSAM, in true Bollywood style.

So, who is this new breed of male? He is a good-looking, well-designed lead man. Leading not just in movies but also in life. He plays pretty much by his own rules. He is generous with his money and magnanimous with his attention. This man is not black or white about his sexuality or morals. There is a lot of well-polished grey here.

This man is different from his predecessor the Alpha Male (think Sanjay Dutt or Sylvester Stallone). He has his Beta side and he is not ashamed of it. He would have shed a few strategic tears in public over the years and shown the right amount of out-of-control corny emotion at the right places. He also looks tighter ? botox helps ? leaner and dandier but he is still the Man.

The MSAM doesn’t usually need to fight physically but instead acts with well-chosen words, indifferent behaviour or other subtle public relations inspired tactics to remain on top. He has the ability to discuss feelings and may be even compromise or at least seem to do so.

All this leads to another interesting aspect in his personality: he has a reputation that he can retain a mate. This is where the significance of the two events occurring together ? refer to at the beginning of the article ? comes up. Here was the charming Mr Clooney playing a cheated-upon MSAM with such elan and maturity. He grows as a man ? even more so! ? as the movie progresses. And, here, at our doorstep was a media frenzy about the campy cool Mr SRK wondering did he or did he not cheat? And, if he did, then what does it make him?

Well, I didn’t really care if he played away from home or not. For me, that was boring, obvious. What interested me was turning this situation the The Descendants way, to try and visualise how the King Khan would show himself if the Wife did the same. Consider this, the stylish Top Dog gets cheated on by his even more stylish Wife. The perfect trophy wife who shone next to him for years quietly, a wee bit less bright than him, of course. He turns around one day and discovers that she has done a run with, let’s say, a lesser man, a Pup.

How does he react? It brings to mind the cool Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher triangle of the recently bygone era. Mr Willis was the ultimate pin up to the cause of the MSAM for the longest time. We expect no less from our home-grown MSAM either. He is now perfectly established at the top of the pyramid. Where does he go from here? Does he evolve and deal with his status gracefully, unlike his forefather, the pure Alpha Male? Does he manage a manly shrug while looking hot in heartbreak? Will he come out of it smelling of manly musk or just pure testosterone?

And, who knows it might just unfold one of these days. All it takes is one sharp-eyed vigilante member of the paparazzi.
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