What’s love got to do with it?
14 Feb 2015 12:57 AM GMT
Well, its 14th February and the colour red is flaming in every corner of the city. It isn’t a communist uprising - worry not. It is just Valentine’s Day.
If teddy bears, chocolates and over-priced flowers were not enough - the airlines, which are facing financial deficits, now we have special discounts for couples who can fly in to celebrate the day together. Distance is only a number when it comes to love and money is only an object.
But it does make us wonder - with sky-high shopping bills, a mad rush for advance bookings in cafes and restaurants and the constant fear of probably not being able to please your significant other - are we celebrating love or are we ruining it?
Psychiatrists says that high expectations and comparison with other couples, especially on over-hyped days like Valentine’s Day, may actually ruin relationships rather than making the couple come closer together.
Let’s break it down - if you expect your partner to sweep you off your feet with an overtly romantic gesture coming Saturday morning and they don’t, we can well expect hell to break loose. Alternately if you are aware of your partner’s high expectations - the onus (and pressure) is on you to deliver.
“Dumping faulty (and very high) expectations on our partners can make things bad. Expectations arise to conform to things happening around us. The need to be accepted and treated at par by others. But such high expectations borne out of social obligations are not healthy for relationships,”
says Samir Parikh, Chief of Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences at a city hospital here.
Besides the infamous dose of ‘high expectations’ which mathematically equates to mounting expenses, brings in another enemy of love - jealousy.
Witnessing all the happy couples with red roses or expensive, fancy gifts - anyone and everyone could feel very left out and very green. Especially on this day of love.
“Jealousy is dangerous but whether to be jealous or not, depends upon the people. Couples need to keep in mind all that they have invested in their relationship. Rather than looking what others are doing (or buying) and comparing your partner with others, do what fits your relationship,” suggests Parikh.
Do the roots of these expectations and jealousies run deep? Blame the movie industry for it. The larger-than-life celebrations on celluloid have actually ruined the idea of love for couples. It is considered to be more romantic to try and ape what you saw on TV than want to be original and honest about what you feel.
Want to remain sane and enjoy what your relationship really has to offer? Get some fried chicken, slip in to those comfortable pajamas and watch a movie with your significant other. Have some real fun on Valentine’s Day!
However, if you are still pretty convinced that you can handle the pressure and live up to expectations (or at least try to) - we have some recipes and some pretty neat dinner/lunch packages and a chance to win your girl (or yourself) a ‘best friend’ and make this Valentine’s Day all the more special.
Read on to make your plans but at the end of it all - make sure you have fun.
If teddy bears, chocolates and over-priced flowers were not enough - the airlines, which are facing financial deficits, now we have special discounts for couples who can fly in to celebrate the day together. Distance is only a number when it comes to love and money is only an object.
But it does make us wonder - with sky-high shopping bills, a mad rush for advance bookings in cafes and restaurants and the constant fear of probably not being able to please your significant other - are we celebrating love or are we ruining it?
Psychiatrists says that high expectations and comparison with other couples, especially on over-hyped days like Valentine’s Day, may actually ruin relationships rather than making the couple come closer together.
Let’s break it down - if you expect your partner to sweep you off your feet with an overtly romantic gesture coming Saturday morning and they don’t, we can well expect hell to break loose. Alternately if you are aware of your partner’s high expectations - the onus (and pressure) is on you to deliver.
“Dumping faulty (and very high) expectations on our partners can make things bad. Expectations arise to conform to things happening around us. The need to be accepted and treated at par by others. But such high expectations borne out of social obligations are not healthy for relationships,”
says Samir Parikh, Chief of Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences at a city hospital here.
Besides the infamous dose of ‘high expectations’ which mathematically equates to mounting expenses, brings in another enemy of love - jealousy.
Witnessing all the happy couples with red roses or expensive, fancy gifts - anyone and everyone could feel very left out and very green. Especially on this day of love.
“Jealousy is dangerous but whether to be jealous or not, depends upon the people. Couples need to keep in mind all that they have invested in their relationship. Rather than looking what others are doing (or buying) and comparing your partner with others, do what fits your relationship,” suggests Parikh.
Do the roots of these expectations and jealousies run deep? Blame the movie industry for it. The larger-than-life celebrations on celluloid have actually ruined the idea of love for couples. It is considered to be more romantic to try and ape what you saw on TV than want to be original and honest about what you feel.
Want to remain sane and enjoy what your relationship really has to offer? Get some fried chicken, slip in to those comfortable pajamas and watch a movie with your significant other. Have some real fun on Valentine’s Day!
However, if you are still pretty convinced that you can handle the pressure and live up to expectations (or at least try to) - we have some recipes and some pretty neat dinner/lunch packages and a chance to win your girl (or yourself) a ‘best friend’ and make this Valentine’s Day all the more special.
Read on to make your plans but at the end of it all - make sure you have fun.
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