Millennium Post

‘Utter nonsense’ becomes phrase of the day without ordinance

Everything was going all right with the world, a nation breathing in the supreme court’s verdict on a citizen’s right to reject the criminals masquerading as smiling poster boys of political parties out to do all that is good for you and at the same time hyperventilating on the need for the country’s president to reject autographing an ordinance that rejects the apex court’s rejection of such characters, when it had to happen.

As everyone wondered what’s wrong with the world since nothing especially wrong was on (is that possible? Is that probable? Hey, you there in the corner nursing a stubble and an ambition, is that predictable?), a man in white kurta-pjyama and with a stubble came to the Delhi Press Club. Nothing unusual at a place where many such men come every day to drink their drinks and argue their arguments. But this one seemed special because all the other stubbles and white pajamas made way. ‘I personally think what the government is doing on the ordinance is wrong. It was a political decision, every party does it, and there is a time to stop this nonsense,’ said the said man with the stubble, alluding to the ordinance that seeks to keep the criminal lawmakers in the ring.
Calling the ordinance ‘utter nonsense’, he said, ‘It is about time that political parties stop making these types of compromises. If we actually want to stop corruption then we cannot make these compromises.’

If sources are to be believed (they mostly cannot be, at least on the eve of a weekend), a four-lane highway was created down the middle of the nation as people went either this side or that. Some appreciated the stubble-man’s conscience and candour; some others called it a con that he has turned into science. Top ten events on how the trending word shaped political discourse on a Friday:
Congress finds a new word of the day: Utter nonsense. BJP reacts: retweets utter nonsense with retort. Left says full Marx to anyone who says anything that is non-Congress and non-BJP (though that has nothing to do with most things in India). Samajwadi Party says it’s difficult to be secular and easy to be communal at a time when people utter, well, utter nonsense but doubly difficult to stay secular and doubly easy to become communal when utter nonsense is repeated so many times. UP chief minister Akhilesh Yadav wonders whether the man with the stubble who first ejected the word wants a name change for his change: UP (Uttar Pradesh) to UN (Utter Nonsense)? Calls for new direction from dad. DMK calls a special emergency meeting to figure whether ‘Utter nonsense’ is a new ministry, and whether the minister would enjoy independent charge, and whether it has jurisdiction over auction spectrum rights over anything, including sense and nonsense.

AIADMK also calls a special emergency meeting since it cannot be seen to be not doing something the DMK does, and then deplores the very idea of special emergency meetings, as it cannot be seen to be doing what the DMK does. Trinamool Congress calls utter nonsense-babu a Maoist, asks the state police to arrest anyone spreading messages of utter nonsense (a little commotion reported from the Kolkata police headquarters after a junior officer wonders aloud whether most political leaders should be rounded up).

Aam Aadmi Party tweets that both BJP and Congress are corrupt for tweeting and retweeting utter nonsense. Watching it all on TV, a rickshaw-puller in Noida says, ‘Le halua’; everyone presumes that’s French for utter nonsense and pulls him to the TV studios to speculate who the man in the white stubble could be, to which he says, ‘le halua’, and promptly gets thrown out.

On arrangement with Governance Now
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