Millennium Post

Until we meet again

Until we meet again
I lost my mother nine weeks ago. She was my best friend. I feel I’m totally lost. How to deal with this? I don’t wish to live!

Ashi, Madhya Pradesh
Bless you dear, and so sorry for your loss. My mom was my strength and she’s been gone a long, long time (10 years). The first 2-3 years or so were the hardest. I know that’s not something you want to hear right now, but it will take a long time to regain your balance after such a tremendous loss. Please focus on things you enjoy doing. Hang out with people who bring out the best in you. If need be, shift to a different house. Sometimes the memories take a tough toll as the surroundings engulf us all the time. Please don’t break down. Life and death are two sides of the same coin. We have to face reality and be real. Your mother is around, above and watching you all the time. The more you suffer, she will feel worse. Please take care and have a smooth life ahead.
I’m 41 and I think I feel angry all the time. My wife, colleagues complain about this. Can you help?

Ravindra Jha, Noida     
Anger is something which everyone experiences, but it can become hard to deal with when you can’t shake your anger and you’re in a constant bad mood or you express your anger in a way that hurts yourself or someone else. If you are always angry, it’s important to try and figure out the cause, so that it doesn’t stay a problem. We’re hardly ever ‘just’ angry – it’s usually a reaction to feeling hurt, upset, disappointed, confused, afraid etc. Try and work out if any of these causes apply to your own anger - it may help to talk it through with a good friend or family member. Then you can work on strategies to  solve the problem,  or cope with what is happening.

If your anger is impacting on your day to day life, or the reasons that you are angry are particularly complicated, it could be really useful to talk to an expert, like a counsellor. They can help you process all your feelings about what’s going on. Good luck and be happy, less angry!
I am in class IX. I hate studying but its vital to pass. I’m very scared and helpless. Please guide!

Tanny, New Delhi
Take a peek below at the three negative self-talk statements you need to immediately toss from your vocabulary and grab onto three replacement statements you should tell yourself to maximise your studying when test day looms near.

Negative statement 1: This is too tough. Replacement statement: This is tough, but I can learn it.
Negative statement 2: I can’t study. Replacement statement 2: I wish things were different, but they’re not and I’m going to study anyway.

Negative statement 3: I hate studying. Replacement statement 3: I accept that I must study for this (set a goal, a dream).

Most of us, hated studying but there is no alternative! As we grow older, we understand the importance and implication. Please control yourself and pay attention. Time will run and you better do your best.

Hi I am 24 years old, working woman. I have been in a relationship for three years. My parents don’t like this relationship and I also am losing interest in it. Please suggest me a solution.

Jassy, New Delhi
Just speak to him, that there is no love from your side. The fact that you have mentally moved on and you want to end it. The whole point in a relationship is to have reciprocating feeling and trust. If either of them is lost then relationship gets weak and eventually dies. Talk and get it resolved. I am confident that you will be able to. If this gets difficult and nasty, involve your family and seek their help to sort this. Be confident of your decision and execute it. 
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