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Totally avoidable, exceedingly 'un'kool

Totally avoidable, exceedingly unkool
Treat this as an open letter to Sachin Yardi and Ekta Kapoor. Let’s get this clear. Sex comedies are not every director’s forte and especially when it comes to Bollywood. To expect the audience to snigger at mentions of dicks and indigenous terms for the vagina — sigh! *Face Palm*

Grow up Bollywood — please?

If you are expecting the same audience who guffawed their way through the classic American Pie and even Eurotrip — you are terribly mistaken. The college kids who might laugh at the lame
Kya Super Kool Hai Hum
jokes have graduated some 10 years back and now have kids in school.

Kya Super Kool Hai Hum is not funny. Honestly it can at the most incite a little ‘haha’ from the majority, but there are no ‘oh my God my stomach hurts I laughed so much’ sequences. After millions and millions of bad one-liners being flung at you like rotten pie, one off joke might tickle a little. Just a little.

Adi (Tusshar Kapoor) and Sid (Riteish Deshmukh) have their sad little lives in Mumbai, trying to live off odd jobs as a shopping network model and a DJ. Adi is a ‘struggling’ actor and Sid is a DJ hoping to make his big break in a dic (Haha! I mean disc; Ask and not Aks — Disc and not Dics). They sneak in to odd Page 3 parties and while Adi stalks Rohit Shetty, Sid manages to get his hands on the console as the DJ.

While Sid tries to scratch his magic on the vinyl he burns too much and there goes Anu’s (Sarah Jane Dias) top on the ramp. Yes. The mindlessness is such. The world gets an eyeful of the ‘twin towers’ and a news anchor fumbles. You pretty much want to cry by now and you are ages away from the interval.

Anu sends Sid off as a male escort to some hormonal and frenzied middle aged women as revenge. Sex comedy you say? Haha. And alongside, Adi bumps in to Simran (Neha Sharma) and he is convinced that she is his soul-mate — why? The astrologer told him so! (Sigh) So while Sid gets his knickers BDSM’d off, Adi proposes with a huge diamond and sends Simran running off pretending to be a lesbian. (Exasperated sigh) The only man in the movie with any potential is Sid’s dog — the pug Sakru (god alone knows where that name’s come from).

And then the action shifts to Goa. Where there’s Francis Marlowe and Rose Mary Marlowe and Baba 3G and chaos ranging from Sukru screwing (yes — used the word) every bitch in sight including the other pug Francis Marlowe (Anupam Kher) considers a reincarnation of his mother. Here’s a tissue, cry already.

Kapoor produced this movie to try and salvage her brother’s career and give Riteish a co-actor he can cleanly over shadow. So is there a story? Well, yes. Is the story good? Sorry. That is not even a valid question.

There is no salvaging your brother, Ekta, send him off into the good night hoping he makes something of himself. Riteish has the comedy nailed but
Kya Super Kool..
. is so incredibly mindless that it can hardly coax a smirk out of you. The girls look fresh and nicely dressed but they cannot act. Yet!

The songs are funny. Yes, those you can smile through. And the rest of the movie is just chaos. And not in a good way. We give this movie the only star it deserves only for Riteish.  
Jhinuk Sen

Jhinuk Sen

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