The jealous heart
I have a boyfriend but he got a great job and has moved to Delhi. I feel like I’ve worked equally hard and can’t help being jealous that he is getting on and I’m struggling to pay rent.
Rakhi Sharma, Kanpur
Sometimes when we feel really negative about a certain area of our lives, it spreads. Suddenly you can’t see the good in anything. Now, his success is a negative for you. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to start believing there’s light at the end of the tunnel. You have to talk to yourself into getting up in the morning with a more positive mental attitude. Nothing good is going to come for you if you’re sitting feeling jealous. I’m not saying you don’t have reasons for feeling down, but once your attitude changes, I promise you’ll instantly be in a better place. You have to get rid of the weak side, feel positive and continue to having a great relationship with your partner. Your negativity will affect you both. Please stay positive and try to achieve what you desire.
My sister has flunked in class VIII. How do I tackle this?
Prataap, New Delhi
A great sense of humiliation and expression of self defeat can come from failing an important test or exam. When helping someone through this crisis, it’s important to deal with the situation without resorting to criticism, rebuke, or making the person feel inadequate or confirming their sense of being a failure. Remind the unsuccessful candidate that she is only human. Sometimes a sensible reminder of the reality that we all err, helps calm and stabilise the situation. Encourage her to look to the positive side and to embrace practicing persistence. Refrain from mockery and damaging comments. Nobody benefits from being called useless, stupid, or having it insinuated that they’re incapable of ever getting a thing right.
I feel very sleepy during the day. Any remedy please?
Gautam Sen, West Bengal
If you feel very sleepy – so sleepy that you might fall asleep without warning – you should take it seriously as it can be dangerous, particularly when driving. In this case you should seek advice from your doctor as soon as possible. I suggest you to do it as soon as possible.
I’m too shy to propose! What can I do?
Raja, New Delhi
Try any of these: Write a letter to her – be honest. Don’t try to be too poetic. Be a little funny. Be yourself. Maybe you can even express your nervousness. Don’t forget to embrace your shyness. Girls sometimes find it cute. Or, Make a Video. Use a simple video editor. Make it interesting, funny and add surprises. Or, write down what it’s like to be with her like a diary. Describe how you feel about her – the joy, the thrill, the excitement. Point down every little detail you like about her.
Describe how you feel, whenever you think about her. Be romantic, but avoid too many cliches. Make it into a blog. After you’ve written for enough days, just give her the link, I’m sure she’ll be surprised. More power to you, dear!
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