‘Swapping is a decision for mature adults; be aware of consequences’

My son is 29. I think he’s gay. He’s avoiding marriage nor do I ever see him with any girl! How do I find out the truth?
Sarita Verma, Patna

Attraction for same sex is there from the days of the Mahabharat. First of all, please do not treat him as a paitent or some sort of a criminal. I have friends from all the walks of life, some of them are gays. So what?! They are super successful and happy in life. I think all mothers want that from their children that they stay happy. Talk to him. Confront and but take it easy! It could also be that he’s focussing on career and hence neglecting marriage.  Don’t hitch him up with a girl and ruin both their lives or jump to conclusions too fast. Observe and have a constructive confrontation with your son! Cheer up!

I have seen a couple of blue films and since then I am always thinking of sex. I’m in high school and feel desperate. I don’t have a girlfriend. What can I do?
Name withheld, Noida.

Don’t worry dear! At your age, this is normal. The hormones rage. But, concentrating on studies is a priority. Don’t neglect that. After just a couple of years you will realise how important degrees and career is. You can always resort to ‘self love’ as masturbation is always the best way to vent out the feelings. I’m sure, very soon you will find your girlfriend but please don’t jump into a physical relationship until you are sure about your partner. Losing your virginity is a pleasure. Preserve it for the right one. Enjoy life and its moments.

We are married and have a kid. How good or bad partner swapping is? We even want to experiment group sex. We both are married, mature and completely in love - this is just for experimentation and to add spice to our sex lives. What do you think?
Vinnie, New Delhi

Well, I’m nobody to judge the bad or the good of swapping partners. You both are mature adults and you’ll know better what works for you. I’m sure swapping/group sex is a colorful act but can’t really comment on its consequences later. This is the decision of two adults who are participating in it. Just ensure that some momentory pleasures do not lead to permanent damage. As parents you have a responsibilty towards your child. Don’t do anything that will cast a negative shadow in the mind of the young one. Enjoy life. Experiment. But please be extra safe. Life is a long journey and sometimes we neglect consequences while we enjoy the present.

My best friends’ parents got divorced. She is shattered. I feel very helpless. We are in 8th standard. How can I help her?
Tania Rai, New Delhi

Just be extra kind and extra supportive towards her. Help her in whatever way you can. With her homework, taking her out for movies, bringing her over to your place for studies, sleepovers. Your parents can also help by being supportive when you spend time with her.