Millennium Post

Towards understanding relationships

The essence of a happy relationship – with parents, spouse and children – is that each member accepts the differences, comfort each other in difficult times and support in every possible way

I want to move to the Himalayas and live a life away from this materialistic world. My parents insist that I should get married. I'm 32 working in a very reputed IT company. What should I do?

Name withheld

Never marry because your parents want you to settle down. The result could be fatal for both the partners and their families. You should always do what you think will make you happy. Mental peace is priority. You should never compromise on that. If your desire to move to the hills is strong enough, you should follow it. You are old enough to decide your future. Decide and plan your moves. Never look back and repent on unfinished desires. You have one life, so just do what you desire.

My son is having an affair with a divorced woman, with a 4-year-old child. Recently he informed us about his decision to marry this wrong woman! He is very well settled in USA and we are truly upset with his decision.

Mrs J Sinha, Kolkata

I don't understand the definition of the 'wrong woman'. How did you derive to the conclusion that she isn't right for your son? Assuming that your son is a matured adult who is doing well in life, I think that as parents you'll should support his decision. He has all the right to choose his life partner. Don't be upset about situations that are not in your control. Let him handle his life and his love. Stay away from such worries and lead a better life. You have to trust your son with his choice.

My mother is always very angry. We find her temper irrational but she pays no heed to our requests. I'm 19 and my brother is 14 years old. We lost our dad last year. What can we do now?

Lakshya K, New Delhi

I'm truly feeling sorry about your brother and you. In the given situation, I suggest you to seek help from some elder member of your family. May be a grandparent, relative or family friend you can trust and discuss this issue. The person can try to explain your mother that her behaviour is affecting you both. She can also be taken to some professional help who can definitely help her manage the anger. Don't lose heart and hope. Be loving and transparent with her. It would be fine soon.

I need to watch blue films every night. I want to stop, but don't know how. Please help.

Name withheld

Congratulations for taking the first step towards your solution. The fact that you yourself have identified the problem, is half battle won. I recommend you to engage in some other activity at night. Start watching other kinds of films and force yourself to stop this habit. You can also start staying with some friends you love spending time with. That way, you will distract yourself and slowly get out of this self-inflicted addiction. All the best!

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