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Tips to evaluate 'the one'

Tips to evaluate the one
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There is someone in my life. But I'm not sure whether 'he is the one'. How does one actually decide on the right partner. I'm very confused.
Sheetal, New Delhi
There's someone special in your life. Here are 13 things that indicate a healthy, happy relationship. If the majority applies to you, keep him in your life.
1. You're happy
First things first, if you are unhappy on a regular basis, get out of there. Make sure your happiness begins within yourself. Those who rely on their significant other for ALL of their happiness usually don't make it very far.
2. You know each other's families
You don't have to go to every family event, but if you're familiar with his siblings and parents and have met a few of them, you're good to go. Secret relationships may be fun, but anything lasting means you're joining the family.
3. You are yourself
You are not afraid to tell him secrets, let him know when you're in a bad mood. You can be relaxed and comfortable with the person you are.
4. You laugh
If you are enjoying yourself and laughing a little bit each day, things are going well.
5. You don't have to talk all the time
Silence or pauses aren't uncomfortable when you are together, and you don't feel awkward. Good relationships don't require constant communication.
6. You communicate
On the flip side of number five, a healthy relationship is dependent upon communication. Being open, honest, and talkative with each other is the only way you will get to know each other more. Keep those lines of communication open. The worst way to ruin a relationship is to misunderstand or complicate things.
7. There is little to no drama
If your relationship feeds off the daily drama, someone is going to crack and it will not last long. If you find yourself angry, confused, depressed, or just fed up, it is definitely not a healthy relationship to be in.
8. You have balance
If you are spending every waking minute with this guy, odds are you have lost a lot of friends. If you are bringing your friends to every date night, odds are you and this guy aren't serious. Find that balance between having both of your own lives and being a part of each other's.
9. There is spontaneity
If you have fallen into a tedious routine, face the red flag and realize that any healthy relationship has an element of fun to it. That doesn't mean every day is a carnival adventure, but don't let things get predictably boring.
10. You are learning
A good relationship causes you to think, to be challenged, and to grow. If you are not learning or growing, then maybe he isn't the one. In my best relationships, I have figured out more about the person I am and the goals I want in my life.
11. You have the same goals
Aside from the happiness factor, this is perhaps the second biggest factor in determining a relationship. If you both want the same things, share the same ideals, and want the same results, you will find success together.
12. He makes the effort to talk with and be around you
Any one-sided relationship will never work. Both sides need to be invested and interested in order for this healthy relationship to flourish. If you are constantly reaching out first or waiting for a text message all day, change something.
13. You feel safe
If you are continually questioning him or doubting your partner, seek safety somewhere else. The healthiest relationships are ones where both people feel safe, loved, and at home.
I am in standard 9 and I face problems mugging lessons up. Can you suggest some ways.
Diksha, Kolkata
To be very honest, I have never been too successful in mugging up notes. But for sure, these steps help if you want to learn it up. Go in a quiet and peaceful room where no one is disturbing you. Read the answers once and understand them; remember you cannot learn them if you don't understand them! Next time read it aloud and walks. Walk around everywhere reading it loudly and try to remember. The third time, read the questions and try to answer them without looking, if you are stuck up somewhere see it. Try this until you are completely satisfied with your answer. Ask yourself, "If I get this question in the examination will I be able to write it without ANY hesitation?" Do not look at how many questions there are. Just complete an answer one by one. Without knowing you'd be done.
I am a 25-year-old man. My girlfriend had a crush on a guy a long time ago. She hasn't spoken to him in almost a year now. However, she still keeps talking about him all the time. How do I make her stop talking about the other guy?
Name unknown
Are you sure your girlfriend is aware of the heartache she is causing you? Sometimes people do things unintentionally, unknowingly. Please stop fuming over this communication gap only in your heart and try telling her how you feel. Express. I am sure she will understand and you guys will be fine together. Just be open about your feelings and don't worry so much. Love is always meant to go a long way if it is true. Talk it out, sort it out and sail smoothly. Good luck!
My husband is determined to live in the joint family. But, its killing me. I come from a peaceful nuclear family and living with 9 people is a torture! What to do?
Mrs Mehta, Gurgaon
I'm sure you knew the family and its members before stepping in. It's difficult to convince a man to move out of his set up. You should not lose hope and request him to look for an alternate address close to the original house. Explain him with love, tears and pleads. Let's hope he understands your problem and take steps accordingly.
Wish you peace.
(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)
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