Millennium Post

Taking the leap

It can be quite daunting to start a new relationship and there is nothing wrong in asking for advice before taking the leap of faith

Taking the leap

I feel I have had enough. I'm recently divorced and probably struggling to regain confidence. What should I do? I read your columns and seek your kind advice.

Name witheld

This is a difficult phase of life where frequent headaches, pessimism, skipping meals, productivity slumps, frustration creeping in and lack of concentration is common. In such instances, to regain the confidence and lay off these symptoms, I advise you take a break and go on a vacation. Either alone or with a friend. After returning, make little changes but not life-altering enormous ones. You can come out of burning out by changing place, job or the environment you live in. Once you feel better, explore possibilities of finding a partner who can be a friend for life. All the best.

I'm getting married next year. We are both salaried individuals in our mid twenties. How to ensure better financial understanding?

Reena Gopi, New Delhi

Construct a joint budget that includes savings. Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills. Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion. Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too. Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed. All the best for the new life.

I like a senior in my college. We often travel in the same metro while returning from college but he seems to maintain a distance. How do I make him notice me?

D Sen Sharma, Kolkata

Getting someone to notice you takes more than great makeup and cute clothes. Find out what you have in common, and chat up with him when you can. Smile, and be yourself. If your love interest doesn't notice you, doesn't reciprocate when you've spent time together, gotten to know each other and may be you've even flirted a little, it may be time to move on to someone else. If he's just not into you, find someone equally fabulous and walk away. Hoping for love to bloom might be a waste of emotions and time.

What is the right age to get married?

Anusha More, Mumbai

You have to be not too young and not too old. There are lots of reasons why late 20s/early 30s would make sense as a time to start a lifelong partnership with someone: people are old enough to understand if they really get along with someone or are just blinded by hormones. They've already made significant life choices and taken on some responsibilities. And they may be just financially solvent enough to be able to contemplate supporting the partner should the need arise.

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