Identify troubles, don't dwell on them
If you feel depressed, exercise, nurture yourself with good nutrition, identify your troubles, express yourself and above all, look on the bright side.
I often feel very depressed. I am afraid that slowly I might become a patient of depression. I'm 33, male and single.
Utpal Jain, New Delhi
If you feel depressed, it's best to do something about it — depression doesn't just go away on its own. In addition to getting help from a doctor or therapist, here are 5 things you can do to feel better.
Exercise. Take a 15- to 30-minute brisk walk every day — or dance, jog, or bike if you prefer. Make yourself do it anyway (ask a friend to exercise with you if you need to be motivated). Once you get in the exercise habit, it won't take long to notice a difference in your mood.
Nurture yourself with good nutrition. Depression can affect appetite. You may not feel like eating at all or overeat. Proper nutrition can influence a person's mood and energy. So eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and get regular meals (even if you don't feel hungry, try to eat something light, like a piece of fruit, to keep you going).
Identify troubles, but don't dwell on them. Try to identify any situations that have contributed to your depression. When you know what's got you feeling blue and why, talk about it with a caring friend. Talking is a way to release the feelings and to receive some understanding. Feeling connected to friends and family can help relieve depression.
Express yourself. With depression, a person's creativity and sense of fun may seem blocked. Exercise your imagination and do something you like. You not only get those creative juices flowing, you also loosen up some positive emotions.
Look on the bright side. Depression affects a person's thoughts, making everything seem dismal, negative and hopeless. If depression has you noticing only the negative, make an effort to notice the good things in life. Try to notice one thing, then try to think of one more. Consider your strengths, gifts, or blessings. Most of all, don't forget to be patient with yourself. Depression takes time to heal but you can fix it before it breaks you.
My daughter is seeing a guy from a different religion. She's in college and refuses to end the relation. We hail from a very conservative Hindu family. We are very worried.
Mrs Madhu, West Bengal
As a college going adult, your daughter surely has an idea about her family and its background. If she is into a relation with a guy, I'm sure she understands the consequences. You can surely speak to her and explain your expectations and concern. But the chance of letting the relation go is minimal. Time is the only factor that can alter things and lets hope everything happens for the best. Handle it with patience and peace.
My girlfriend insists on playing safe. I hate it. How can I convince her to have it without it?
It is praiseworthy that your girlfriend believes in precaution. Pills or contraceptive will not protect you. I'm sure apart from pregnancy threat, the dreadful diseases are unwanted too. An advice to remember: prevention is always better than cure.
My husband sleeps immediately after we make love. This has been happening for 2 years! I need to talk to him too. Please guide.
Riya Saha, West Bengal
Well, since it is apparent that good love puts him to sleep, why don't you find other time to talk to him? Maybe you should make a time where you can have just the cuddle and talk time. Time where you two just lay in the bed and talk or you can sit on the couch and talk. Don't try to keep him awake, cause as soon as you do and he falls asleep you will be mad, even though this is something he has been doing naturally. Just find a better time and let him get his sleep after good loving. Happy life ahead!
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