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Time to change your mate selection mechanism

 ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY |  2017-05-20 15:14:45.0  |  New Delhi

Time to change your mate selection mechanism

My mom is an abusive, over dramatic annoyance in my life. I am only thirteen, I have no voice. I'm getting very upset. Is there any way out?

Raani, Kolkata

Since you can't voice your opinion, how about writing her a letter? I want you to make a serious effort to make your mother understand, how the treatment is affecting you. When someone is constantly being exposed to negativity it begins to take its toll. Mentally it causes conflict because you know you deserve to be treated better. You can become worn down emotionally and end up depressed, hopeless and empty inside. Your mother needs to understand the damage she is causing you. Express yourself as vividly as you can and I'm sure that life will be better soon. Good luck!
I always land up with wrong guys. Is something wrong with me in particular?

Name unknown

There is a subconscious part of us that draws us to particular people who trigger a familiar feeling. We think it's chemistry when the fireworks go off, but what's actually happening is that your inner drama queen is having a field day. You're bored with the nice guys and crave attention from the man who acts disinterested.

Some people think they will never have chemistry with someone "nice" and that could very well be true. If you don't change your mate selection mechanism, you will subconsciously choose the same heartache every time. You will ignore the obvious red flags, believing, that "this relationship" will be different… but nothing changes. Don't take stress. Enjoy each experience with a positive frame of mind. Someone is surely made for you.

I have recently found out that my father (businessman) is associated with a lot of young models. They exchange very erotic messages too! Should I tell my mother?

Sushil Gupta, New Delhi

You can always have a transparent communication with your father. Observe his reaction and hear his reply. Telling your mother will hurt her and this is avoidable right now. Your father surely needs to know that you are aware of his 'other' side. Suggest you tell him that you have known from a few friends rather than disclosing the truth. As he might be alert and delete information from the phone forever. Don't be hyper, handle it well and see the results. Good luck!

My elder sister's fiancé is showing his interest towards me! He's claiming that he loves me and not her! What to do?

T Das, Kolkata

You should tell your sister everything. Don't let the guy mess up the relationship and faith between you two. Let your sister take it up with her fiance and be firm that you are not interested at all! This is a sensitive situation and I hope you'll will sort it out soon!

How important is horoscope matching for a match making?

Mrs Divya Borah, Noida

To some it is mandatory, to others it is vague. Personally speaking, for an arranged marriage you can try doing this as you have the option to choose. A lot of marriages sail well even without the interference of astrology and a lot break even though their horoscopes looked positive together. Marriage as a bond requires much more than just planets predicting positive future. Wish you the very best!

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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