Stay slow & steady

We are in a steady relationship since four years. She trusts me but I can't resist hot women and I need to fix this. I can't lose my girlfriend. I love her. Please guide.

D. Singh, New Delhi

The simplest way to 'fix' this is to stop entertaining other women in your mind. You have to control yourself as such things have serious negative consequences on the future. To feel lighter and better, let your partner know this. Maybe not entirely but she should have some clue about your real self. Even if it means letting your relationship take a knock. Accountability is important and opening the communication channel on this topic will make it stronger in the long run. Otherwise, you might lose her forever.

My wife snores a lot and I can't sleep at night. What can be done?

Shyamashish, West Bengal

There are some couples who choose to have separate bedrooms. It works for some people, happily. They may go to one bedroom to watch TV, read or get close and then go to sleep in their respective bedrooms. Space in life is never a bad idea. You could also try to train a person to sleep on their side or stomach, which may help prevent snoring. You can prop pillows in a position so the snorer is on her side or stomach and can't flip onto their back (the position which shoring is most likely to occur). You can nudge them to turn over but if that doesn't work, it may be a sign that your partner has obstructive sleep apnea (a problem that should be evaluated by a sleep specialist). To save your situation for the time being, you can also try earplugs. Good luck!

Last week, I met a girl at a party. She is beautiful but is not keen on a relationship. I think I have fallen in love with her. How do I convince her?

Abraham Jacob, New Delhi

It is too early to jump to any conclusion. Please don't rush! Meet her and try to be a friend first. Only when you have spent quality time, will you understand if she is really the one you want in your life. Her beauty is not the most important part of her being. You have to know the person and the personality before you take a plunge. Take it slow and let the bond be steady.

I'm a lesbian and a senior IT employee. My parents are trying to arrange my marriage next year. I don't want to and can never love a man. How do I handle this situation?

Name withheld, Kolkata

You know the answer my dear. You have to convey your message to your family in the best possible way. There is no question of you being forced to marry someone you don't want to. Your sexual preference is your choice. Don't try to please anyone as you are your first and only priority in matters like these. You can't marry because of any pressure. Be firm and if need be, relocate to a different city. Stay happy and everything will be perfect. Good luck!

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