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Stand against domestic violence

To allow anyone to put their hands on you is a form of mental destruction. Keeping quiet and tolerating is no sign of showing strength or love.

I am in Class – IX. I feel lonely and want a dog at home but my family is against it. What can I do?

Nihal, Haryana

No matter how desperate you are, as long as you are living with your family, you have to go by their rules. I'm sure they have reasons for not wanting a dog and you have to respect that. Probably they have Cynophobia and have a fear of dogs. It would not be fair to the dog as they are very sensitive and the lack of love will affect him/her too. When you get older, get your own place, and can support yourself and your pet, do what you want. Until then, live with the dream and love all the dogs around you. There are plenty on the road, many living in the shelters who seek love. Spend time with them and let the love grow.

In an intimate moment last night, my fiance uttered the name of a girl. Upon asking, he denied this and is trying his best to hide. I am shattered. Am I reacting too much?

Name & location withheld

Why don't you have faith on your love and trust him once? Why can't you erase the memory of one incident and believe him? It is difficult to comment on your query based on one such incident. This should however be noted by you. Keep your sixth sense on. If he's up to something wrong, if he is trying to hide an affair, it will surely come to light. Have a good life and don't stress yourself so much. Trust me dear, its not worth it. Enjoy your life and love as much as possible. Good things happen to those who believe. Best happens to those who hold on.

My husband beats me up. We are married since eight years and we have a five-year-old son. I'm living in hell. What can I do?

T. Khatun, New Delhi

To allow a man (or anyone) to put their hands on you is a form of mental destruction. Domestic violence is the worst thing you can allow your child to witness. Unfortunately, people have the habit of repeating these sick actions if they are not stopped the very first time. I suggest, stand up and fight it out. Take strong steps and if need be, involve your family or close friends to seek legal advice. Keeping quiet and tolerating is no sign of showing strength or love. You will lose your mental peace, confidence and gradually be depressed. Please take a decision soon. Wish you good luck.

My fiancé recently told me that she had a very intimate relationship with her first cousin who lives in London. Though the affair is over, I'm not being able to come in terms after I have heard this. What to do?

Name withheld, Kolkata

I think you should be happy that she has told you everything and hasn't kept you in the dark. I think you should respect her honesty and let go of the past. It will be a bit difficult, yet, the ghosts of the past shouldn't be dragged into the present. Both of you have a good life ahead and if the love is true, these things won't matter in the long run. Let go of the doubt before you get married. If the shadow lingers and haunts, then please give ample time to recover. Never bring back the incident of the past during arguments and fights of the present. Trust and faith are absolutely mandatory and you cannot continue a relationship with any pinch of doubt.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

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