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Millennium Post

SPEAK OUT

There are certainly times when we should be silent, but other times we need to get out of our comfort zones and raise our voice

SPEAK OUT
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My uncle is single and whenever he visits us, he tries to touch me. I don't want to tell my parents but I don't know how to stop this. Please help!

Name withheld

If you choose not to tell your parents about it (which is probably not the best thing to do), you need to at least cut him off the best you can. No more spending time around him whatsoever. If he sits next to you anywhere, get up and move. Under no circumstances should you ever be alone with him anywhere at any time. This man has technically molested you, and it will only escalate with time. Avoid him like plague.

Is jealousy a sign of insecurity? My boyfriend is a very jealous guy.

Sanjana, Kolkata

Jealousy isn't always a sign of weakness or insecurity. It could also be an expression of love but jealousy in a relationship isn't always easy to handle. Jealousy crops up in many ways, but in essence, it's a sign of insecurity and the fear of losing the one you love. You may get jealous of your partner for several reasons. While jealousy due to misunderstanding is acceptable, irrational jealousy isn't. Learn to trust your partner and don't doubt them unnecessarily. Regain your confidence and remember that they do love you, and your lover is not going to stop loving you by just talking to someone attractive.

The problem in dealing with jealousy in a relationship is that most people forget to put themselves into their partner's shoes and see what they would have done.

I have shifted to Dehradun and I'm very scared of sleeping alone. I'm turning insomniac. How can I overcome this?

D. Shiva, Gurgaon

I completely understand. This is what I have personally tried and has helped me overcome the fear of sleeping alone. A little noise might help you. While people with insomnia often play music that is combined with the sound of nature; in your case too, you may need to play the sound of people talking.

Turn on the TV, choose a 24-hour news/music channel, and adjust the volume. It is quite likely that you'll get bored and can sleep more easily soon. If it doesn't help, please consult a doctor.

What are the signs that the man is not ready to commit into the relationship?

Ishita Ghosh, Kolkata

Here are some signs that might be prevalent:

If your man is secretive and don't share information, he may not be the right man for you. By being cautious and keeping you out of his life, he is giving you the message that you do not count, you are not that significant to him.

If he does not bring you home to meet his family, then he is not committed to you. Many sons will not bring a date home to meet their family until they believe they have met the person who will be a part of their lives forever.

If your man is withholding and not sharing information about where he is going and with whom, then you might have a problem. If a partner needs to keep a private 'free' schedule, he is telling you, in no uncertain terms, that he does not want to be tied down to you.

If your fellow drops your hand in public, doesn't take you out on dates, but rather suggests wining and dining only at home... he is sending you a signal that he does not want to be seen with you. You can always rationalize why your dates are connected to down time at home, but nevertheless, if you listen to your inner voice, you will hear that he "likes" you, but does not "love" you. And, if your relationship feels like you are holding hands, but that if you let go, he'll be gone... then you are definitely in denial.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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