Millennium Post

Revive your relationship

You should think of your marriage as a continuous process of trying to improve that connection between you and your spouse.

What are the signs that your spouse is cheating on you?

Prakash, New Delhi

Your spouse seems bored. Bored with you, with a job, with kids, with hobbies, with life in general.

There is considerably less intimacy or connection in your relationship.

Your bedroom life is practically non-existent or, there are lots of new things introduced into the act that were never there before.

Your spouse has a low self-esteem.

Your spouse doesn't show any jealousy about you, no matter what you say.

You notice your spouse has a sense of confusion about him or herself.

Your spouse does not prioritise you or your feelings anymore.

Your spouse is avoiding direct communication or confrontation.

Your spouse remains unavailable for long hours. Has the tendency to maintain a secret life.

Is suddenly exhibiting extra affection, extra concern which is unlike their usual self.

Before marriage it looked so perfect. Now I feel low and am worried that he is not the man for me. What should I do?

Name unknown

As a couple, you do not start off as a perfect union, nor will you ever achieve that state of perfection. You should think of your marriage as a continuous process of trying to improve that connection between you and your spouse. The sooner you realise that men and women are never exactly dialed in to fit together with perfect precision, the sooner you will be able to accept your spouse's imperfections. It turns out that is an important realisation. Those who do not understand this fall victim to the grass is greener syndrome. Do not jump into quick conclusions, give time and patience. I am sure everything will fall into place soon.

I am a 27-year-old woman. I have been in a relationship since three years but now I also am losing interest. Please suggest how to communicate and get over with this.

N. Pal, West Bengal

Just speak to him, that there is no love from your side. The fact that you have mentally moved on and you want to end it. Be polite but firm. The whole point in a relationship is to have reciprocating feelings and trust. If either of them is lost then the relationship gets weak and eventually dies. You will have to make him understand that continuing this relationship will only hurt both of you and will spread to your family members as well. Talk and get it resolved. I am confident that you will be able to. If this gets difficult and nasty, involve your family and seek their help to sort this. Be confident of your decision and execute it. Take care.

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