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Reflecting elations

Reflecting elations
My son is in class 9. Last few months, I find him very irritated and disturbed. His school grades are also suffering. We are at a loss. What should be done?
Mr. A. Singh, Ludhiana
If you have high expectations from the children, they might feel pressurised. Do not force the children to get the best grades in school. They should do well in studies and other activities like music, sports, dance, etc. He would be stress-free.The emotional health of the child can get disturbed due to the hormonal changes in the body. Do not worry if the child shouts or yells at you. But if it happens every now and then, it should be taken care of. Keep the communication lines open. The child should be able to talk to you and discuss about all the topics. Try not to impose anything on your child. Discuss the important aspects and set the rules with the child. Set the limits and consequences. Punishing teenagers does not work in all the cases. Think of some other ways to motivate your child.
My boyfriend and I broke up last year. I still miss him and want him back. How can I do it?
K. Pal, Kolkata
Breaking up with your partner can be a very distressing and heart breaking. After a break up, you and your partner need time to think about it and give an insight into whether you want to get this relation back or you want to move on in your life. Before taking any decision at first place, you should understand the reason behind the break up and try to explore whether it was just because of any misunderstanding or it is related to personality clashes or ego problems etc. Admit your faults and try to understand problems of your partner as well. You should then talk about problems in your relationship and apologise for your mistakes as it will help in making your love willing to come back to you. You should have a positive outlook in being back in this relation and don't stress on the past. If you are really serious to make this relationship work again then you should start without any discomfort and anger in your mind. If your love is true then he will surely get back to you.
My parents are against my choice of partner. How to convince them?
Amar Sahi, New Delhi
Find the correct moment to talk to your parents. Avoid situations when they are tensed or irritated.Try to explain to your parents why you love your girlfriend. Even though it may sound like a business proposal, list out the reasons why you love her and what are the things that made you fall in love. Get some people like your married cousins to support you when talking about your marriage. Never pressurise them by saying that you will move out with your partner. This would create more hatred towards your relationship.Try to get at least one of your parents on your side. If nothing else works, tell them firmly and politely that this is the person you have chosen for yourself and they should try to accept it because at the end of the day it is your life that is at stake.
I have to confess. I have been stealing small things from here and there. I need to come out of it but don't know how.Please help!
Name unknown
The term for someone who obsessively steals items is called 'kleptomania' and tends to be associated or caused by other disorders like obsessive-compulsive, paranoia, schizophrenia, etc. The psychology behind those who are kleptomaniacs is not specific and can vary from person to person. If you're young and you're stealing little items here and there, it's normal to get excited when you get away with it. However, it would be smart for you to reflect on yourself and your actions and realise that the risk of stealing is not worth the reward of not being allowed to your friends' homes or people not trusting you!! You should exercise some self-control and stop NOW. This could develop into a habit you rely on and it's never going to take you in a good direction. If you try to stop and you find you can't, you should seek some professional help. Good luck!
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