Millennium Post

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

Patience is a skill—one that can be learned over a period of time and needs constant nurturing

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

I am 26, working in the IT industry. I have been in a relationship for 5 years. My parents never approved and I am losing interest on him. Please suggest me a solution so that he could leave me.

Name withheld

Just speak to him, that it's over. The fact that you have mentally moved on and you want to end it. Be polite but firm. The whole point in a relationship is to have reciprocating feeling and trust. If either of them is lost then relationship gets weak and eventually dies. You will have to make him understand that continuing this relationship will only hurt both of you and will spread to your family members as well. Talk and get it resolved. I am confident that you will be able to. If this gets difficult and nasty, involve your family and seek their help to sort this. Be confident of your decision and execute it.

My in laws live in South Delhi and we live in Noida. I'm married since 2016 and my attempts to build a good rapport has always failed.

Mrs. S. Khanna

When you are meeting them, these are few things you can try to maintain. Don't budge an inch. Stay confident in your position. Don't let their words or attitude hurt you. Don't forget that you're the authority in your family. Put your in-laws in their place by being polite yet firm. Re-evaluate the boundaries you've set. Don't let them dominate your life. If they are truly difficult people, spend time with your in-laws when your spouse is present. All the best.

We are in a long distance relationship. He's working in Australia. Recently we had an ugly fight. I love him and want us to be happy. Please advise.

Sohini Pal, West Bengal

Don't lose heart and be upset. You need to work towards having a very strong, solid base to your relationship when you're long distance. Establish some ground rules about when you'll see each other. Call and text each other frequently and don't forget to schedule regular Skype/ video chat dates. You have to constantly remind yourself that the distance is for a short while and as you really want to be together, you have to make it work. Celebrate everything, even if you can't be together in person. Dream and plan the bigger picture and ensure to give all your efforts to make it work.

I'm 29 and single. I don't enjoy physical closeness at all. I have been through four relationships already and nothing seems to work. Is there any problem with me?

Name withheld

They say, Men need a place for having sex, women need a purpose. Female sexuality is complex. Lack of interest in physical closeness can be triggered by family problems, illness or death, financial or job worries, past history of sexual abuse, fatigue or depression. Women are much more interested in romance and relationship than in casual association. Psychological counselling can play an important part in your life. So, unwind, relax and don't force yourself into anything till you feel the desire to participate.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

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