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Parents, Step Up!

Kids today are mature and sensitive – issues of their abuse must be handled with care and compassion

I have just come to know that my eight-year-old daughter gets physically molested by the car pool driver that takes her to school. We are very disturbed.

Name withheld, Kolkata

First, stop sending her in that vehicle. If possible, a family member should take the responsibility of dropping and picking her up from school for the next couple of weeks. Second, report the case to the car pool management and, if possible, accost that driver directly. Third, in a very easy, simple and friendly manner, speak to your daughter and explain to her how she should approach such situations in the future. Don't make her feel awkward by referring about this incident in front of others. Kids these days are very mature and sensitive. Such issues should be handled with care and, as a parent, you have immense responsibility towards a growing girl child. Good luck.

I'm madly in love with my English Professor. I even attend his private tuition just to see him. I want to express myself but I feel scared. Can you suggest how I should approach him?

Neha Singh, New Delhi

Well, such 'crushes' are common. If I was you, I would have written a personalised letter, sealed it in an envelope, sprayed my most favourite fragrance and handed it over to him at a suitable occasion. This way at least you can feel lighter; but as he's your college professor, such an act could bring in a negative impact too. Think before you take any emotional step. If you can hold on to your feelings for some more time, hand it over on the last day of your college life. One life, do what you want but 'play safe' girl!

I feel my husband is in a relationship. I did ask him, but he blatantly refused. I'm not convinced but I don't know how to find the truth.

Name withheld, West Bengal

It is quite natural that if your husband is guilty, he will not own up. You have two options. One, don't stop asking questions until he tells the truth. Second, hire a private investigation company who would charge you a sum and would hand over the complete day-to-day schedule of your partner along with relevant photographs and evidences. This will surely throw light on the situation. I suggest, don't linger with this shadow of suspicion for too long. Decide and delve to find the solution. Once you have enough proof, face him and sort it out soon. All the best!

I'm a 26-year-old woman and I don't enjoy physical closeness at all. I have had two partners in my life so far. Is there any problem with me?

Name withheld, New Delhi

They say – men need a place for having sex, women need a purpose. Female sexuality is complex. Lack of interest in physical closeness can also be triggered by family problems, illness or death, financial or job worries, in-law problems, childcare responsibilities, past history of sexual abuse, fatigue and depression. Women are far more interested in romance and relationship than in casual association. Psychological counselling can play an important part in treating women with such problems. So, unwind, relax and enjoy 'making love' rather than trying to 'have sex'!

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

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