NOT THE END OF ROAD

I recently had a break up. I'm devastated and don't know how to overcome.

Name withheld

Do not check up on them on social media. This will reinforce your ex's presence and only make it harder for you to stop fantasizing about your broken relationship. Accept any explanation that fits the facts and keeps your self-esteem intact such as they were unwilling to commit, they allowed themselves to drift emotionally and didn't bring up what was happening until it was too late, or they were just not the person you thought they were. Remove reminders of the relationship that cause you distress or pain such as texts and photographs. Heartbreaks are ubiquitous and everybody has their own words of wisdom to offer.

Do Aphrodisiac really work? My boyfriend and I are very curious.

Twinkle, Noida

An aphrodisiac is a substance that increases sexual desire. The food you consume can have a direct impact on your sex life, affecting your hormones, brain chemistry, energy and stress levels. Some food have psychoactive properties, others arouse because they are psychologically suggestive, and some can actually increase blood flow to the genitals. And if it does not have all that aphrodisiac effect, at least it's healthy and it will do you good. Some of these include asparagus, almonds, avocado, bananas, basil, chocolate and garlic. But, I really think that love is the best of all. If that is strong, the rest will just happen. Happy love making.

I lost my father last month. I am not able to accept it. Please help.

Tanjor, West Bengal

Do the things that used to bring you enjoyment and interest even if they don't seem interesting and enjoyable now. Going through the motions is an important way to signal to yourself that life goes on. Focus on things that keep you happy. Loss is always painful. You have to be strong and give yourself the best it deserves. Take care of the family and always remember, parents never leave. They part to watch us from a distance. Take care.

I have just started dating a woman seriously. How to ensure a good relationship?

D. Kapoor, New Delhi

To ensure a good relationship, follow these simple steps.

Keep your promises. Don't over commit. Do what you say you'll do. Always respect her and her people. While dating, be on time. Keep the other informed about any changes. Do not take anyone for granted.

Stop assuming. Establish good lines of communication instead. Talk and express as much as possible.

Listen to what she's saying. Don't pretend to listen — actually listen. Sometimes, the only thing we want is a good listener or a shoulder to lean on. Let her talk and be absorbed in what she's saying. Be involved.

Never lie. Being open and never lying establishes great verbal communication, which is at the heart of all great relationships.

Minimise jealousy. You may get a little jealous from time to time, and that's okay, as long as you try to not let it affect your relationship.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)