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Millennium Post

Never lose heart

The bottom line is – you first need to take care of yourself.

I have a friend and I know he loves me immensely but never accepts it. He has never proposed but is jealous if I hang out with other guys. What could be this relationship and its future?

Dola, Kolkata

Unfortunately, this is a very common situation and I really don't know what's holding your "friend" back. You haven't mentioned about his background so I have no way of knowing whether he has been burnt in an earlier relationship which is making him phobic about entering into a new one. One thing you can do is not be so "available". My advice would be to start seeing other people and when he calls, occasionally tell him you're busy or going out. Maybe that will snap him out of the "we're just friends" routine. The bottom line is – you need to take care of you. He may be jealous and possessive but unless he steps up to the plate, what do you really have? Let him open up and be transparent about his feelings. Wait for a while but if he is still acting the same way, why don't you talk to him directly? Set a timeline and I'm sure this won't be a very difficult.

I have fallen in love with someone who is engaged to my friend. We also had a physical relationship till a few weeks back. I love him. What should I do?

Name unknown, New Delhi

You've got yourself into a fine pickle. This guy appears to be deceitful. You know you should walk away, don't you? It is hard, it will break your heart but you will get over it and move on. You are a lovely person and deserve better than this man. He might drop you when someone else better comes along, if he doesn't already have others. You also will lose your friend forever if you don't stop now. Let me know what you end up doing. All the best.

My husband is very busy. He travels abroad for almost 20 days a month. We have no children and he seems to be too busy to plan one. It's been four years of our marriage and I'm very depressed with the current state!

H. Khan, New Delhi

This looks selfish. Men running the race probably develop certain traits that make situations difficult for people around them. May be you can start travelling with him, if you can. Spend more time to revive the romance, be communicative and express whatever you feel is desired. If there is a member of the family or friend circle whom he trusts, that person can also help put the message across. Don't lose heart. All good things take a bit longer perhaps. I'm sure you will overcome this and be a happier individual in the near future. Just be a great lover to your husband and life will be better. Best of luck!

My husband is completely addicted to technology. It's affecting our lives too much. What should be done?

Tina Mitra, Kolkata

Technology is a boon but we need to know when to switch off. We definitely have to unplug before bed, as keeping technology in the bedroom tends to get into our personal space. It also serves as an early morning distraction and potentially makes us late to work. One of the major problems technology addiction has caused is a lack of awareness.

Technology transports our minds into another place, regardless of where we are. You could start spending a little more time with him, make him aware of the surroundings and show your love. Go for a vacation to a place away from the crowd and the constant interference of technology. He will perhaps become far more functional in various situations and will get closer to you.

All the best.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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