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NEVER LIE

Being open and never lying establishes great verbal communication, which is at the heart of all great relationships

NEVER LIE

I am 13 and the only child. My parents don't have time for me and I've tried writing down what I feel but nothing has changed. It gets worse every single day. What should I do? Please help.

Hazel Gray

We all need someone to talk to and if we don't have anybody around, it surely isn't a happy feeling. But strong individuals will find a way out and I think you are a strong person. Try to make new friends. Focus on building yourself by doing something that you really like doing. Write blogs, create content and do activities that you enjoy. Try and join a gym or yoga and perhaps you will find some great friends at these places too. If you love pets, get one for yourself. It surely is a wonderful therapy. Never lose heart and feel depressed. You will always recover from this phase. Trust me.

I am married and my wife is a homemaker. I don't want to cheat or lie yet I think I am attracted to a colleague at work. What should I do?

Name withheld

Cheating is a form of lying. You wouldn't be very accepting of your wife having an affair, so why should you? If you're having an affair, take a good, hard look at your life and ask yourself why you're married to the person you're married to. If you love your wife but lust someone else, realise how unfair the situation is. You want the comfort of your wife, but you're not willing to be exclusive and honest with her. This is selfish behaviour. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. If you no longer love your wife, then why are you still married to her? Either of you would probably be much better off if you were given the opportunity to find someone you truly loved, or someone who loved you back. Think about it.

I have had two bad breakups. I have just started dating someone seriously. How do I ensure a good relationship?

Naveen Gupta, New Delhi

To ensure a healthy relationship, here are few tips. Keep your promises. In most cases, we over commit. Do what you say you'll do. Always respect her and her people. While dating, be on time. Keep the other informed about any changes. Do not take anyone for granted.

Stop assuming. Establish good lines of communication instead. Talk and express as much as possible.

Listen to what she's saying. Don't pretend to listen – actually listen. Sometimes, the only thing we want is a good listener or a shoulder to lean on. Let her talk and be absorbed in what she's saying. Be involved.

Never lie. Being open and never lying establishes great verbal communication, which is at the heart of all great relationships.

Minimise jealousy. You may get a little jealous from time-to-time, and that's okay, as long as you try to not let it affect your relationship.

Best wishes to you both.

I'm the third girl child. My parents had always wanted a boy. I'm in the ninth standard and feel very unhappy with the way I'm sometimes treated by my family. How do I cope?

Name withheld

Don't be so upset. I was born seven years after my elder sister. And apparently my mother was so shattered that she cried all day and didn't see me for 11 hours! I can surely vouch, time changes everything. Be confident and thank God that you were born! Keep your head high, concentrate on your grades, your future and be a good human being. Problems are to be faced or avoided carefully.

Try and spend more time at some relative's or friend's house to ensure absolute peace of mind. Concentrate on building a brighter tomorrow and I'm confident, the dark clouds will disappear soon. Cheer up girl! The world is waiting for you.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

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