MATTER OF TIME & FAITH

My son is in 7th standard. He is always preoccupied with his computer and friends! How can we make him participate in our lives?

Rekha Samanta, Kolkata

Adolescence is a transitional stage of physical and psychological human development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to legal adulthood (age of majority). The period of adolescence is most closely associated with the teenage years, though its physical, psychological and cultural expressions may begin earlier and end later. Your son is in this phase. A lot of new things will start and a lot of understanding and adjustment has to come from your end. He might get difficult but always remember, his strength is his family. However much aloof he might look, you have to make that extra effort to involve him. Take him out to places he likes to visit. Spend time as a friend, interact and keep a close but distant eye on his life.

With time, our physical relationship is dying completely. I need physical intimacy but my husband, who is nine years older, is absolutely reluctant. I'm feeling depressed but don't know what to do.

Name withheld, Noida

Have you tried consulting a doctor? That might be required. Also, try your best to ignite the flame. Keep your kids (if any) at some relatives' for a night and go totally adventurous at home. Try getting close at places in your own home which haven't been explored yet. The kitchen top/the verandah/the roof…you know what I mean! Start the night with your sexiest self and in the meantime some hot movies might also be a catalyst. Also remember, too much stress at work might be the reason for the distance. Understand your partner and help him bridge the gap. All the best!

I have spent a lot of my life dealing with so many two-faced, unfaithful relationships that I simply do not trust anyone anymore. Is this abnormal?

Name withheld

I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes I feel the same way too. It is indeed hard when all you know is betrayal, but trust me...there are good people out there. You just need to learn how to pick them out of the crowd. I wish you the very best to stay calm, patient and wait for the right time and right one. Faith is the only word that will work for most heartbroken ones.

My child is nine years and he is still wetting the bed! Can you suggest how I can control this?

D Rane, New Delhi

Reassure your child by being supportive. He isn't wetting the bed on purpose. Explain that it is very common and that he won't forever wet the bed. Bed-wetting often runs in families. If you or your partner had wet the bed as a child, talk with your child about it. It'll help him see that people do outgrow it. Many things can lead to bed-wetting. It could be the slower development of bladder control or heavy sleep, hormonal issues, stress and anxiety. Make using the bathroom just before he gets in bed part of his bedtime routine. Also, remind him that it's ok to get up during the night to use the bathroom. Be sure to speak with your doctor if this continues.

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