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Millennium Post

Make peace with your past

Try to handle this intelligently. Meet your ex over a cup of coffee and explain him that you don’t need him in your life.

Make peace with your past
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My son is 17 years old. Yesterday I saw his cellphone loaded with porn clips. We are extremely shocked as he comes across as a good boy. What to do? Name unknown
The growing adults are always curious about sex. As they have limited scope to explore, pornography is a vent. Request you not to worry about this and let him handle his fantasies and desire his way. Just be watchful about the company he keeps and be a good friend to him. Don't make him conscious about what you've seen as this will make him extra careful. Let him have a good journey towards manhood and treat him as an adult.
I had a relation with a boy in college. Now I'm happily married with another man. Suddenly my ex boyfriend has started texting me. He says he has some intimate pictures too and wants to meet me. What should I do?
Name unknown
Try to handle this intelligently. Meet him over a cup of coffee and explain him that you don't need him in your life. If he tries to blackmail you, explain him confidently that you have told your husband everything about your past. I think this will sort things out. If need be, tell your husband everything. That is your past and he will surely understand and be with you. Don't panic and handle it well.
My brother is studying in Chennai. Suddenly we feel he has changed his behavior towards us. He is rude, absent minded, gets low grades too. We are worried. What can be done? Dilpreet, New Delhi
Either go and visit him or bring him home to have a very transparent communication. The behavioral pattern that he is exhibiting definitely requires immediate attention. It surely could be some unsaid stress, untold fear that he is keeping deep within. This has to come into light and solved from the root. Be friendly, over attentive, caring and let him speak. Do not lose your cool at any cost and don't try to control him too much. If there is any resistance, do seek professional help. Don't delay, start the process now..
Hi I am 24 years old, working woman. I have been in a relationship since 2 years. My parents don't like this relationship and I also am losing interest on this love. Please suggest me a solution so that he could leave me forever.
T.Das, Kolkata
Just speak to him, that there is no love from your side. The fact that you have mentally moved on and you want to end it. Be polite but firm. The whole point in a relationship is to have reciprocating feeling and trust. If either of them is lost then relationship gets weak and eventually dies.
You will have to make him understand that continuing this relationship will only hurt both of you and will spread to your family members as well. Talk and get it resolved. I am confident that you will be able to. If this gets difficult and nasty, involve your family and seek their help to sort this. Be confident of your decision and execute it. Take care.
(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)
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