Look ahead for a new beginning

I'm dating a man I met through a social site. He's caring and cute yet I feel he is a miser. Whenever there is a discussion around money, he says, 'money is not happiness'. I mostly end up paying for coffees and more. What should I do?

Sania Chauhan, New Delhi

While money is not happiness, it is definitely the key that can open almost all doors of this challenging world. It provides a comfortable life and help you feel more secure. If your man has an absolutely another vision of the world, then it is better not to waste your valuable time trying to prove otherwise. Many misers preach to their women that money has nothing in common with happiness. This way, they make an attempt to lower their ladies' sights and impose their concept of happiness. If he is already depending on your wallet, it is a big warning sign. Don't rush and don't get carried away. Take time before you decide anything. Good luck!

My girlfriend was cheating on me. I know the truth and she is very apologetic now. I love her a lot but don't know what to do. Please tell me, should I forgive her?

Bunty Singh, Noida

Please forgive her if your inner voice is prompting you to do so. Trust your guts. If you feel that letting her go will be the biggest mistake of your life, maybe it will be a wrong idea. If you feel that she is sincerely sorry and you believe that this was a one-time thing, maybe it's worth trying to stay together and work out a solution. Breaking up with someone you still love is not necessarily the best option, especially if she still claims to love you back. Give her a chance and love her even more. Best of luck!

I'm getting married in January next year. I come from a very conservative Marwari family and it is an arranged marriage. He lives in Canada and we have only met twice. I'm 22 and he is 26. I'm very nervous about the first night. Please help.

Name unknown

Congratulations! Here you go. Hope these tips help you.

Take things slow

It is very important to remove the gap on your first night and you can do this by building rapport. Start by talking with each other until you become comfortable. You don't have to act like a very conservative and uptight bride, it is best to be yourself. Have conversations, share laughter and have fun.

Let the past be past

Marriage is a new beginning. The first night is intended for the two of you, so don't start any discussion about each other's past. It could be a big turn off and add more tension to your already stretched nerves. Don't ask about previous relationships, how it went, why it ended and never try to compare or be over curious. Just enjoy each other's company, for this is your quality time together.

Money matters are never to be discussed

Finances are one of the most important aspects of every marriage, but your first night as husband and wife should not be spent calculating all the expenses, incomes, debts, estates and the like. Money matters can wait, and for the meantime enjoy the night away.

Put fantasies aside

Do not add pressure to this already awkward situation by telling your partner your fantasies. This will only make your partner anxious and conscious about his performance. The first night after arranged marriage should be like light romantic music, not heavy metal music. So take it easy. Take it slow.

Be patient

Even if all the ceremonies have ended, you shouldn't jump into the act. Just like what was mentioned above, take time to get familiar with each other. And don't forget to remove all the pins on your hair and clothes before going to sleep.

It doesn't have to be perfect

Relax. This is just the start of a lifetime journey. It's fine not to have a perfect first night; it rarely happens anyway.

(Send your questions to

roopshashotm@gmail.com)