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Millennium Post

Heart on your Sleeve

Two people stay a lifetime only when they respect each other’s opinion.

I'm 23 and pursuing my MBA. I seem to fall in love all the time. Is something wrong with me?

Samrat Das, Kolkata

There is nothing wrong in feeling or falling in love. And it doesn't mean that you are desperate or needy, simply because you are more vulnerable to falling for people. Being someone who falls in love easily is an advantage when it comes to dating because you don't have to dismantle your own fears and defenses to let someone in. But imagine if you could only give your gift of love once more in your life. This would make you much more discerning about who received it – it would have to be someone very special, who you got to know well, to ensure that she is the right person before you ever said those three little words and gave your heart.

Since I was very young, my mom has been beating me up for no reason. She's made me bleed many times too. I'm really scared of her.

Name unknown

Everything you have mentioned to me about would be called physical abuse. It is very wrong and should not be happening to you. You say that sometimes it is your fault and I really do want to stress to you that, no matter what you do, being hurt is never your fault. Nobody has the right to hurt you like this. You deserve to feel happy and safe where you live. The quickest way for the abuse to stop is to tell a trusted adult such as a teacher or a guardian or a senior member of the family, they will then be able to support you and contact people who can keep you safe. Do take care and be safe. You are important and there are people out there who would want to help to stop this abuse.

I got engaged and now my fiancé is forcing me to get physical. We are supposed to be married at the end of this year but I'm not sure about taking this step. Can you guide?

Name unknown

This is completely your personal decision. If you like him, you have faith and you are comfortable, you surely can get closer. It is completely your choice and should not be controlled on what he wants or expects. May be some more time will make you feel complete while being with him. Don't rush into it. Two people stay a lifetime only when they respect each other's opinion. Your partner will surely understand you and will help you overcome the inhibition. Trust your instinct and play safe. All the best.

I want to balance work and home. Can you suggest some tips.

Jenny, New Delhi

Understand the importance of drawing a line between work and home.

Make sure that you don't use the master bedroom for your home office. The master bedroom should be off limits to computers and televisions, if possible.

Don't use your work schedule as an excuse to opt out on doing your share of household chores.

Try to do one thing at a time.

Turn off your landline phone, cell phone, and other electronic devices that could interrupt you from spending quality time with your spouse and children.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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