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Millennium Post

Guilt is a bad trip, avoid it

I am a 32 years old housewife. My husband is in a reputed company. He just doesn't like my getting familiar with his colleagues and friends. I feel lonely. What should I do?
Mrs D Jha, New Delhi
I strongly suggest you to do something on your own. Learn some skill or spend time nurturing some hobby. Your problem of passing time will be solved and you will feel independent too. This will also expand your world and you will meet more and more people, make new friends. When you have your own group your husband should not have any problem. Go ahead, spend your life your way and don't feel neglected or hurt. You have all the liberty to choose your path of happiness.
I am 42 and divorced. My husband left me for another woman. I am very scared to get into a new relationship. Now it is just hard to trust. How to come out from this terrible situation.
Name unknown, Kolkata
Blaming the men of the universe for a single person is really not justified. Now you will have to help yourself by deciding what you want in your partner. Your previous experience itself will help you a lot. For getting into another relationship, I would advise to keep both your eyes and mind open. It may be a good idea to visit a counselor and discuss the whole thing before taking any decision. That would help you in rescuing from the unnecessary burden of betrayal and help you move ahead positively.
I come from a small town in UP. I'm a student and stay with my sister in the city. I'm 16 and I'm not sure whether I'm gay. How can I be sure? I'm very worried!
V Kashi, Uttar Pradesh
It can be confusing to know if you are gay, bi or straight when you are still going through puberty. Not everyone grows through this period fully aware of their sexual identity. You should not label yourself at this age as it can all change, by the time you have grown through and out of puberty. Sexual urges come in many forms. When we are young, sexual orientation is mixed in with all kinds of dynamic and sometimes uncomfortable things that we are dealing with every moment. As we mature and begin to seek and form important relationships with individuals, the sexual piece gets clearer and clearer. It's something you feel deep inside. You may not know for a while and be unsure, but it's only something you will know. No one else can tell you. Either way, listen to your heart and soul and trust that they will lead you in the direction that is right for you.
I love to get physical with my girlfriend but I keep remembering my ex each time we get close! I only reach the climax when I think of her. How do I come out of it?
Name unknown, New Delhi
You never know, she might be fantasising someone else while you are close to her! This hurts, right? So dear, don't do anything that you don't want for yourself. If she's giving her mind and body to the man she loves, you ideally should be hers.
Try to watch some hot movies while making love. Divert your mind and just axe the 'ex', love your partner completely. Guilt is a bad trip, avoid it!
(Send your questions to
roopshashotm@gmail.com)
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