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Insight

Forget the past, fix the future

My son is in Class-VIII. He is very afraid of the dark. Need guidance please.
Mrs. Bina Ray, Kolkata
Fear is a normal part of life for all of us. The fear of the dark tends to evolve around the time when children are old enough to have a sense of imagination. The best thing a parent can do for a child with a fear of the dark is to communicate, be respectful, and show that you understand. Be sensitive and don't tell them that their fear is silly. It'll not help and they will still be scared, they will feel guilty and ashamed too. Install night lamps and assure of your availability even if you sleep in separate rooms. Monitor the TV and entertainment habits. Be warm and friendly. If it doesn't help, visit a specialist. Best of luck!
I am 46 years. My wife left me two years ago. Now, I am very scared to get into a new relationship. It is just hard to trust a woman. Please tell me how to come out of this terrible situation.
Veer, New Delhi
You will have to honestly evaluate the reason for which your wife left you. Then only you can make your mind stable. Blaming the women of the universe for a single person is really not justified. Now, you will have to help yourself by deciding what you want in your next partner. Your previous experience will help you quite a lot. For getting re-married, I would advise to keep both your eyes and mind open. It may be a good idea to visit a counselor and discuss the whole issue before you get into any relationship. That would help you in rescuing yourself from the unnecessary burden of betrayal in your head. Don't worry about the past. Best wishes for a stable and happy future.
I love to get physical with my wife but I keep remembering my ex each time we get close. I only reach the climax when I think of her. How do I come out of it?
Name unknown
You never know, she might be fantasising about someone else while you are close to her! This hurts, right? So dear, don't do anything that you don't want for yourself. If she's giving her mind and body to the man she loves, you ideally should be hers. Try to watch some hot movies while making love. Divert your mind and just axe the 'ex', love your spouse completely. This is just not done. For you and her. Guilt is a bad trip, avoid it.
I'm in college and I hate wearing any make-up. I do not have any boyfriend and my friends tease that my 'no make-up self' could be the reason for guys to stay away! Is that true?
Rani, Noida
You don`t need make-up to be good looking. Stay in good shape by exercising and eating right. Be with people who make you feel positive and happy. Make-up can give a boost to your look but it is a minor change to what you naturally have and what you work at having. Always remember, it's the heart that matters and your true 'boyfriend' should be the one who loves you the way you are! Make-up won't fetch togetherness for sure.
(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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