Finding the keys to your happiness

During my pregnancy my first cousin lived with us. My baby is 5 months old and off late I have discovered that my husband is having an affair with her. I feel like dying. Should I divorce him?

Name Withheld

Is this your suspicion or are you sure? Did you confront with either of them already? I am really sorry reading about this. But it is found that physical relationship during partner's pregnancy is a very common thing. Unfortunate but true, men surely have this tendency. Firstly, please don't hurt yourself. You have the biggest responsibility of the new born, take due care of the baby and of yourself. For the time being, relocate and live with your parents/ relatives. Let your husband understand his mistake. If things go good, it's fine. If not, seek legal help and sort life out. Nothing is permanent and this phase will go. Best wishes.

I am 36 and divorced. My husband left me for another woman. Now it is just hard to trust and get into any relationship. How to come out from this terrible situation?

Name Withheld

Blaming the men of the universe for a single person is really not justified. Now you will have to help yourself by deciding what you want in your partner. Your previous experience itself will help you a lot. For getting into another relationship, I would advise to keep your eyes and mind open. It may be a good idea to visit a counselor and discuss the whole thing before taking any decision. That would help you in rescuing from the unnecessary burden of betrayal and help you move ahead positively.

I suffer from insomnia. What can be the reason?

D. Kapoor, New Delhi

Insomnia is the inability to get the amount of sleep you need to wake up feeling rested and refreshed. Because different people need different amounts of sleep, insomnia is defined by the quality of your sleep and how you feel after sleeping - not the number of hours you sleep or how quickly you doze off.

Psychological problems that can cause insomnia: depression, anxiety, chronic stress, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder.

Medications that can cause insomnia: antidepressants; cold and flu medications that contain alcohol; pain relievers that contain caffeine; thyroid hormone, high blood pressure medications.

Medical problems that can cause insomnia: asthma, allergies, Parkinson's disease, hyperthyroidism, acid reflux, kidney disease, cancer, chronic pain.

Sleep disorders that can cause insomnia: sleep apnea, narcolepsy, restless legs syndrome.

My brother is very successful and works in UAE. His wife keeps showing off their wealth and jewellery to my wife. This is causing problems in my marital life. I'm a bank executive and I don't know what should be done.

Altaf Qadir, West Bengal

You need not do anything. Speak to her and tell her that happiness and harmony does not depend on riches. If we value food, love and cheer more than hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world to live in. You can also ask your wife to get involved in some constructive work so that she understands the value of money and relationships. This is something that needs you to be firm. Your wife will surely understand soon.

Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com