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Millennium Post

False assumptions

We all make basic assumptions about things in life, but sometimes they are wrong – trust what you know, not what you assume

False assumptions
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I think my partner is seeing someone else. How can I be sure about it? I feel cheated and lost.

Name withheld

Watch for changes in behavior. Changes in interests, in clothes, appearance, weight loss or gain, coldness, distancing, hostility; refusal to talk about future projects, disengagement from you, disinterest in sex and more noticeably, simply everyday affections. All in all, the discovery process is harrowing and can leave you feeling raw. The fact is that it is better known than not. In time, you'll learn that while this is a traumatic experience, there is a person who deserves you and that it's most definitely not this person. Seek the support of friends, family and perhaps your doctor or a counselor to help you work through what is now a difficult period. Good luck!

My mother-in-law suffers from strange mood swings. She is very rude and hot tempered at times. We are married for four months and I feel I can't live with her anymore. How do I convince my husband to move out and have our own place?

Name withheld

This is an age-old problem everywhere. Remember, it is just a few months. All of us need time to adjust but you should speak to your husband and tell him everything. Moving out is not the solution but making your husband understand your problem is. You both are newly married and so it is the duty of both of you to be compatible by opening up about your difficulties. Try your best to adjust and be friends with her but after everything if it still doesn't work out, opt for an accommodation close to where she stays and take care of her from a distance.

I'm very scared to get married as most of my friends have been divorced. I'm 32 years old and well-settled. What do I do? My family is very upset.

D. Raja, New Delhi

Take the plunge and I assure you, you will not regret it. Be positive and go for it. Don't think about the negatives or your friends. Think about yourself. You will be happy. There are reasons why most choose to marry and settle. But marry only when you are convinced not because of anyone or anything else. When you find a partner who understands and loves you, I'm sure magic would happen.

My girlfriend is a horrible kisser. Every time we kiss I remember my ex. How do I convey this to her? I don't want to hurt her too.

Name withheld

If you remember your ex each time you are close, then I would ask you to break the relationship. Your are doing injustice to her and to yourself. This is morally incorrect. Take a relationship break and get back only when you have a blank page to script with your present partner.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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