Millennium Post

Express with restraint

A constructive confrontation with loads of cuddles, love can help warm up the situation.

I come from a lower middle class family. I'm 22 years old and my father is arranging my marriage with an affluent man who is 42, divorced with a child. Please help.
Name unknown
You are an adult. If your father's choice isn't your preference, please protest in whatever way possible. He cannot force you to marry someone. Have a conversation with him. Involve other members of the family who might help convey the message. Do whatever it takes but don't get married unless you are ready.
I think I'm in love with my childhood friend. She is not dating anyone but I guess there is a guy from her college she considers special. I fear that if I express my heart, I might lose her. I'm confused!
Wahid, New Delhi
This is never an easy situation. Professing your feelings could cause an awkward rift from which your relationship with her might never recover. If she does have strong feelings for you, she will break up with her current boyfriend and pursue a relationship with you at some future time. In the meantime, try not to be obsessed about the situation too much (I know, easier said than done). It's difficult, but try to keep yourself busy with friends, hobbies, work. Transfer your passion into something productive. Try and meet some new people. You never know, you might meet someone who sparks your interest and perhaps eventually becomes the object of your affection.
We had a love marriage last year but we are not happy. Everyday there is a fight and he is a completely different guy. What should I do? I'm shattered.
Name unknown.
Marriage and mirage sometimes go hand in hand. But, I would request you to hold on to your relation and try your best to make it better. A quiet vacation might act as a catalyst and you surely can get closer and sort matters. A constructive confrontation with loads of cuddles, love can help warm up the situation for better. This looks like an initial rough patch which will be green soon. Don't let go of your patience and dreams easily. Wish you good luck.
I'm madly in love with a man. I think he likes me too. Do women propose?
Dipti, Kolkata
Many women still wonder if it is right or wrong to propose a guy. Tradition believes that it is a man who first asks out a woman for a date but now the scenario has changed. It is perfectly right for a girl to propose a guy. Just consider some important things before you pour out your heart to the man you love. Avoid choosing a crowded place to propose. Proposing at any crowded place might put both of you in an awkward situation. Make sure the spot you have chosen to make your proposal provides some privacy. Love letters can never be passé. In the age of e-mails, a love letter is a rarity. One can put her feelings elegantly through written words.
If you are feeling awkward to tell him your feelings you can always to write a letter. Prepare yourself for rejection too. It is not necessary that a person whom you love will love you back. Respect his decision come what may. If he is destined to be with you, he will be with you anyways.
Otherwise accept the rejection and move on. Don't get emotionally dependent on him or anyone. Best wishes for a lovely love life!
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