Era of digital loneliness

My brother is in college and my mother is always partial towards him. I feel very frustrated. What can I do?

N. Sharma, New Delhi

Unfortunately, some parents are not aware of the harm they're causing to siblings when they have a favourite and treat the other child unfairly. I understand how depressed this makes you feel. But first, have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother. Tell her how you feel and get an agreement with her when she's being partial (calmly) and let her know, so she can stop. Have a similar talk with your brother and ask for his help. Neither of these may work, but try it. You will have to do all you can to keep your spirits up and to get attention from other mature adults in your family.

Though I have friends in life and on social media, yet I feel lonely. What is the solution?

Tanvir Ahmed, New Delhi

Having lots of friends is no guarantee that you will never be lonely. Joining social networking is also no guarantee that you will never be lonely. Some people collect friends the way others collect figurines. But having a roomful of collectibles never made anyone feel loved. If you don't have meaningful relationships, online friends are as good to you as lifeless figurines. Unlimited texting is no guarantee that you will never be lonely. Sometimes, when you're lonely you keep checking your phone to see if any of your friends have sent you a message. When you're already feeling lonely and you notice that no one has tried to contact you, that can make you feel even worse. Doing things for others is no guarantee that you will never be lonely. Loneliness is, above all else, a mindset. Stay positive and focus on retaining a few valuable relationships.

I have a very conservative family. I'm in the 11th standard now and they still escort me everywhere and never allow late-nights or outings with friends! I'm very unhappy. How can they change?

Pritha Bose, Kolkata

People differ and we always tend to be the way our life has been. The past plays an important role to mould our present. Probably they had a strict upbringing and, hence, they have this attitude towards you. You must try and have an open chat with them where you should explain your problems in detail. Parents do take time to understand that we have grown up. Just don't lose heart and be good. Trust time and everything will fall into place. Do not try to convince them with your arrogance. Be patient and act wisely.

My husband sleeps immediately after we make love. This has been happening for many weeks. I need to talk to him too. Please advise.

Name withheld

Well, since it is apparent that good love puts him to sleep, why don't you find other times to talk to him? Maybe you should make a time where you can have just the cuddle time. Time where you to just lay in the bed and talk or you can sit on the couch and talk. Don't try to keep him awake, cause as soon as you do and he falls asleep you will be mad, even though this is something he has been doing. Just find a better time and let him get his sleep after good loving. Happy life ahead!

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