Millennium Post

Don't judge people based on their past

Judging someone based on the words of others, is very unfair; rather try to protect your relationship and nurture the formative years for a better future.

Dont judge people based on their past
I love a girl in my college. I help her with studies and everything but she doesn't care to love me. I know she has many friends and I'm not a special man to her. What should I do?
Dilraj, New Delhi
Relationships work best when they are based on equality. Relationships are stable when people are equally attracted to each other, hold similar feelings for each other, and demonstrate equal amounts of respect for each other. From your situation it is clear that you have feelings for a girl and it is not reciprocated. Allowing yourself to continue expecting would hurt you further. Please restrict yourself and focus on spending time with people and activities that keep you happier. In a situation like this, any expectation might lead to more emotional instability in the long run. Let life be good for you and if she cares enough, she will be there. If not, just let it be. You deserve to be happy and always remember- happiness begins with you. Don't give her so much of emotional space to feel hurt or broken. Good luck.
I am 32 years old, married for 7 months. Few weeks back, I came to know that my wife had few physical relationships before we got married. She accepted it and I have forgiven it all. But one of my friend's wife told me that my wife hangs around a lot with her male colleagues. It's hard for me. I love my wife and don't want to lose her. Please help.
Name unknown, Kolkata
Do not judge your wife by what has occurred in her past. In the present, you have no reason to suspect that she is being unfaithful to you. By listening to others and making your judgment, you are being very unfair to your wife. Try to protect your relationship. If you have still have any doubts about your wife, then please discuss with her and settle the doubt now. It is not about being broadminded; it is about trusting your partner and giving her the freedom to live happily. Don't worry so much that you lose your peace of mind. Nurture the formative years for a better future. Best wishes.
My son is 17 and his height is only 5 feet 2 inches. He suffers from inferiority complex which is affecting his mental health. Please guide.
Mrs Kavya Singh, Noida
Napoleon complex or the short man syndrome hits the hardest at the age that your son is in. One way to deal with the complex is to break it down. Please help him understand that everyone on earth is inferior to someone in some way and superior to someone in some other way. Moreover, he will be really be surprised to know that the health benefits of being shorter weigh far more than its disadvantages. And as far as looks are concerned, there is much more to a man's attribute that can actually make him look charming and coveted in today's world. Moreover, your son is a teenager, so it can be possible to increase height up to the age of 21 years through healthy diet, regular exercise and swimming. Do visit counselling specialists to help your son gain confidence. Your support will help him overcome everything. Best wishes.
My wife earns much more than me and she acts bossy and rude with me and my family. What can be done? I'm getting very worried about us.
Sunil Kumar, New Delhi
If you are sure that her financial strength is the reason for your unhappiness, please try and work some better arrangements for yourself. I do not know your profession but in today's time, multiple sources of earning is becoming vital for survival. In the mean time, try and express your concern to her. If she loves you, she might change her behavior. She needs to understand that your support is her strength too. Don't try to fight and make matters worse. Be patient and loveable. Try your best to manage the relationship and hope she will understand and improve her behavior before it is too late. Don't lose heart and be brave enough to be happy at whatever cost. Good luck.
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