Millennium Post

Constructive steps to solve ego issues

Effective and constructive confrontation will surely be beneficial, for a team to get along well and make the office a better place to work in.

Constructive steps to   solve ego issues
I have a team of 35 employees. There seems to be an ego issue somewhere. How to address this and have a solution?
Mr. R. Shivaram, Noida
Ego clashes are nasty, destructive diseases that can harm businesses large and small. There isn't one answer to solving the problem; solutions are dictated by the personalities involved and circumstances, but good communication is vital. Explain to the employee or employees that you need to sit down with them and talk about what has happened. You need to listen to events from their perspective. Talk as little as possible – it's about allowing the employee to express their views. Effective, constructive confrontation will surely be beneficial.
My best friend's parents got divorced. He is shattered. I feel very helpless. We are in 6th standard. How can I help him?
Rudra, Kolkata
Just be extra kind and extra supportive towards him. Help him in whatever little ways you can. With his homework, taking him out to movies, bringing him over to your place for studies, sleepovers or simple adda. Your parents can also help you to be beside him. Why don't you both join some salsa, music, art or something that interests you both? This is going to help him come out of this phase with ease. Good to see such a caring friend like you. I'm sure the clouds will fade and your friend will recover soon!
I'm in love with a man for more than 3 years. This is a one sided feeling but I'm unable to come in terms with it. Can you help me please.
Name unknown
a) Realise it's not you, it's the situation. When we have feelings for someone who we find out doesn't feel the same way back, our first response is to ask what's wrong with us. Repeat after me: "there is nothing wrong with me''. Feels good doesn't it? So stop trying to find what to change about yourself, and realize you're just in a situation you can't change.
b) Don't invalidate your feelings. The second thing we're most likely to do in one-sided love situations is make ourselves think we're crazy for having the feelings we do. So, you have feelings. Guess what? That means you're not a robot. Good for you! Feelings are weird, and sometimes you can't explain where they come from, and most of the time you can't control them. Anyone who mocks your feelings or emotions is a person you don't need in your life.
c) Recognise all the doubled-sided loves in your life.One-sided love can leave you feeling pretty bad. It also makes us forget that love comes in so many forms, and we've got a lot of things and people in our lives who love us just as much back. It's easy to let yourself feel alone when romantic love isn't reciprocated, but friend-love and family-love are constant and powerful. Whether it's music, cooking, religion, the arts – find those things and spend time with them. You'll begin to feel like yourself again in no time and realize just how loveable you truly are.
d) Move on. Life is full of crazy experiences – some amazing, some terrible. You go through a lot of pain too – especially in these years of our lives. But letting yourself feel is one of the greatest things you can do. Life can be a beautiful thing if you let it. I'm still learning along with you all, no prophet here.
But I do know that when all else fails, dancing to your favourite song will always do the trick.
(Send your questions to

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