BEING DISTINCT

I am a 25 year old woman. I have been in a relationship since six years but now I am losing interest. Please suggest how to communicate this to my boyfriend. I can't continue this way for long.

Gayatri, New Delhi

The whole point of being in a relationship is to have reciprocating feelings and trust. If either is lost, then the relationship gets weak and eventually dies. You will have to make him understand that continuing this relationship will only hurt both of you and will spread to your family members as well. Talk and resolve it. I am confident that you will be able to do it gradually. If this gets difficult and nasty, involve your family and seek their help. Be confident of your decision and execute it. Take care.

I'm a lesbian and in a relationship with a colleague. My parents are trying to fix my marriage. I don't want to do it as I can never love a man. How do I handle this situation?

Name withheld

You have to convey your message to your family in the best possible way. There is no question of you being forced to marry someone you don't want to. Your sexual preference is your choice. Don't try to please anyone as you are your first priority. You can't marry because of any pressure from anybody. Be firm and if need be, relocate to a different city till the situation settles down. Stay happy, be positive and everything will be perfect. Good luck!

I have anxiety issues. I often feel the need to calm down but fail to do so. Please help.

Rakesh Arora, West Bengal

Here are some tips that might help you:

Reset your mind by focusing on another sensation, like the feeling of the ground under your feet.

Ask yourself if your negative thoughts are rational.

Breathe deeply, starting at the bottom of your stomach.

Find a quiet space and talk to yourself, using calming and encouraging words.

My wife earns more than me and she acts bossy and rude with the family. What can be done?

T. Sharma, Gurgaon

If you are sure that her financial strength is the reason for your unhappiness, please try and work out some better arrangements for yourself. Try and earn more, if possible.

I do not know your profession but in today's time, having multiple sources of earning is becoming vital for survival. In the mean time, try and express yourself to her. If she loves you, she will definitely understand and might change her behavior.

Don't try your hands at something beyond your reach. Try your best to manage the relationship and hope she will change someday. Don't lose heart and hope.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)