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Be your best judge

Be your best judge
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We eloped and married when I was 18 and he was 22. I am a mother of a 5-year-old now. I have recently found that my husband is having many affairs. How can I stop him?

(Name not given)

When we are young, we do take decisions that may not be the best for the future. It is a very disturbing situation and I request you to be strong. Words, emotional blackmail, threats, tears… use every weapon possible to control this situation. Confront him directly and warn him about the ugly consequences that one has to face for adultery. Don't lose heart and fight it out with the person whom you love. Stay cool and be confident. You are his legal wife and there is a world to support you. All the best!

I'm a widow, 41 and a mother of two. I don't know whether or not to remarry. What's your opinion?

(S. Chatterjee, Kolkata)

It is your life and your choice. If you truly feel that you want to settle down, please do. If that inch of doubt remains, wait for the one who might wipe the 'whether or not' syndrome someday. If love rules, please follow the heart. If it doesn't, just live your life the way that makes you happy. You are a mother and every decision of yours will affect the little ones. So take time and don't worry about marriage. If it is meant to be, it will be. You are your best judge.
My younger brother is 12 and loves eating baby powder! How to stop?

(Devi, Noida)

At first I thought this question was a joke, but while searching the internet for an answer I realised this is a serious problem that a lot of people have! And while I'm not a doctor (or anything close!) this is what I've found out. Most baby powder contains gypsum, which has trace amounts of asbestos and is surely not the best mineral to be consumed! This would be carcinogenic over a long period of time and in the short run could cause intestinal blockage, which is a medical emergency and very painful. The best thing you can do is to substitute corn starch or some other harmless starch for the baby powder. And in my own personal opinion you should talk to a doctor about this. So just because nothing has happened to him yet, doesn't mean its a good idea to keep doing it. I hope you found the answers your looking for! Do share some data on the subject with him that might evoke fear. Best wishes.

I'm confused whether or not to continue relationship with my girlfriend. Please help!

(Raja Srinivas, New Delhi)

We've all held on to someone who doesn't deserve to be there. And most of us still have someone in our lives who continually drains us: Someone who doesn't add value. Several actions can be taken to rid ourselves of negative relationships. First, you can attempt to fix the relationship. Sit down with the person who's draining the vitality from your life and explain to them what must change in order for your relationship to work. Explain that you're not attempting to change her as a person; you simply want to change how your relationship works. Finally, ask her what she would like to change about the relationship. Listen attentively, act accordingly.
Or, if you're unable to change the relationship, you can end it altogether. This is incredibly difficult, but it applies to any relationship: family, friends, lovers, coworkers, acquaintances. If someone is doing nothing but draining your life, it's perfectly acceptable to tell them "This relationship is no longer right for me, so I must end it—I must move on." It's OK to move on. You have the right to choose peace.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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