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Millennium Post

Balancing home and work

It is important to understand the significance of striking a balance between work and home for a better life.

My mother insists that I learn piano as my elder sister learns it. She is three years older and has completed her studies. I'm always given her example. I feel very upset.
Savita, Kolkata
I understand your situation. I would request you to relax and be patient. Try explaining to either of the parents what you intend to do. If you have any problem communicating with them, seek help from your teacher or any elder whose words might have an impact on your family. You surely can take a few piano lessons but whether or not you like it, is what time shall say. You can also get involved in things that make you happy and be so good at your work that they can't ignore your passion. Comparisons do happen between siblings but you have to hold on to your confidence and fight it out peacefully. Good
luck dear.
I'm getting married next year. Should we live separately or with in-laws? What is your opinion?
Richa Singh, New Delhi
Married couples, especially newlyweds need privacy. It's the only way to have intimacy and to get to know each other better and to build your own family. Although it will be more difficult to have privacy when living with the in-laws, there are things you can do. Even if you have a small home or apartment, you should designate certain areas that are perhaps just yours. All the better if you and your in-laws can have your own apartments with little kitchens within the same complex or building. Then, you don't have to be together all the time and it might be more pleasant for all. Parental vigilance and interference lead to marital tension so stay close but separately. Wish you a happy life!
I want to balance work and home. Can you suggest some tips.
Rajan, Noida
1. Understand the importance of drawing a line between work and home.
2. Make sure that you don't use the master bedroom for your home office. The master bedroom should be off limits to computers and televisions, if possible!
3. When you first arrive home from work, give your spouse a big hug and kiss. Then spend some time talking together about how the day went. Don't do anything else till you do this.
4. Don't use your work schedule as an excuse to opt out on doing your share of the household chores.
5. Try to do one thing at a time.
6. Turn off your landline phone, cell phone, and other electronic devices that could interrupt you from spending time with your spouse and children.
I'm in a relation with a man for a year but he is married for last 7 years. He is a father too! I love him but don't know where life would take us. Need your inputs please.
Name unknown, New Delhi
In reality the man will perhaps NEVER be yours completely. If you're having a relation with a married man, sure he has feelings for you in the heat of the moment, but if he hasn't left his wife, children, and home, he probably isn't going to. It doesn't matter what he promises, it's all talk. So many women fall for the fairytale idea that somehow he's going to leave his family behind, and ride off into the sunset with you. He has a wife, he has a child and he has commitments. He's not getting what he needs at home, so you're giving it to him instead. He spends time with you, and then goes home to play Daddy. He has the best of both worlds. Please use your instinct and judgement. Get your life sorted and try to be happy without getting into further complication.
(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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