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A step Ahead

It is important to reach the root of problems and discuss them openly rather than opting for a laidback attitude, expecting things to fall in place

A step Ahead

My uncle would often take me to the roof and feel me up when I was a kid. He has died but I keep waking up with the nightmare. This is a secret I haven't told anyone.

Name withheld

It is a trauma and a burden you are carrying for too long. I do know that wrong things done to us will leave their stench behind. But, my dear, you have to let go of the horrible feeling. You need to open up and speak your heart out to someone you can confide in. Don't suffer by locking this up any further. Conversations with a close friend or a professional will help you overcome this and it will be of great help. Don't feel weak and victimised as you are not the only one. Be strong and tell yourself – the bad is over. The best is yet to be. All the best.

My husband is having an open affair with his boss who is a single mother. Whenever I have objected, he refuses to understand and tells me that it is all for our benefit. I'm a housewife with a newborn. I'm broken.

D. Das, Kolkata

What your husband is doing is illegal and unethical. As a wife, you have all the rights to protest and punish his selfish act. His affair of convenience isn't something any wife can tolerate. If he doesn't care about your feelings and continues his fling, I suggest you take some action. Threaten him with dire consequences if he doesn't amend his ways. In no situation should your child and you suffer. This is beyond compromise and I hope you gather the courage to do what is best for your present and future.

Our son was brilliant till his 12th but his grades are deteriorating since last year. He is more focused on campus politics. We are from a middle-class background and deeply worried about our only child.

Mrs and Mr. Sinha, New Delhi

I suggest you give him some space and don't jump to immediate conclusions. As parents, do advice him but don't push him too much. Grades matter, but more importantly, doing what you really want to do matters the most.

Politics is definitely a passion he is pursuing. Keep reminding him of what your expectations are but don't be nagging. Support him and make him believe that you have confidence in him and his decisions. I'm sure everything is not as bad as you are imagining. Give time and have faith on your son.

I often want to leave everything and move up to the hills and live a life away from this materialistic world. My parents insist that I get married. I'm 33, working in a very reputed company. What should I do?

T. Chatterjee, Kolkata

Never marry because your parents want you to settle down. The result could be fatal for both the partners and their families. You should always do what you think will make you happy. Mental peace is priority.

You should never compromise on that. You are old enough to decide your future. Decide and plan your moves. Never look back and repent on unfinished desires. One life. Just do what you desire.

(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

ROOPSHA DASGUUPTA RAY

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