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Millennium Post

In dependence or Independence?

The ultimate ideal is to use ones independence to help others– not helping people by making them dependent on you but by freeing them from their dependencies

In dependence or Independence?
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The ability to be independent is something that not everyone possesses. You need to be independent in order to survive in the world. Learning to support yourself is fundamental for any success you ever hope to achieve. At the end of the day, you only have yourself to fall back on, so it is exceedingly important to be able to handle things on your own. It is all about being secure with who you are and what you believe in. It is extremely empowering knowing that you are in control of your own life and your own choices. It is much more beneficial to listen to the voice inside yourself rather than the berating opinions of others.
We are unable to be independent for a variety of reasons: with fear at the forefront, the fear of being alone, the fear of rejection and fear of the future. More often than not, we rely on others far more than it is necessary by putting the fate of happiness in the hands of a significant other, thinking this will bring fulfilment. As we grow older, we need to learn how to make the best decisions that allow us to live our lives the way we want to. Developing into an autonomous person can be one of the most worthwhile outcomes we can strive for ourselves. We need to learn how to make decisions on our own.
For some reason, people think it is weird to go see a movie alone. You can't talk to the person you go with anyway, so why not go by yourself? There are so many activities that can become more enjoyable by taking part in them alone. Wandering around the city you live in can clear your mind off all the clutter it has been carrying around. Learning to live and love one's own company is truly worth it.
Having the ability to be happy regardless of being in a relationship is an amazing attribute. People continue to wallow in detrimental relationships because they are scared of being on their own. Instead, they should relish in it and spend this time focusing on making themselves better people.
Make decisions by and for yourself, whatever they may be. Don't ask for advice, do what you want and learn from your own mistakes. Many people are afraid to think for themselves because that involves taking responsibility for their own lives. This is just one way people become dependent. We are born alone and we leave the world alone, so we each have to take responsibility for our lives at every step along the way. The value of independence is that it makes you a human being. Dependency requires lowering yourself to a lesser animal, becoming a slave to the choices of the people around you.
When you have independence, I believe the next step is to encourage the independence of others. Think your own thoughts, live your own life, and help others to do the same. Helping someone become independent is much more difficult than just helping them. It's far easier just to write a cheque or give compliments. It is much harder to make that person grow. Giving aid without encouraging independence is often worse than not helping at all. When you foster dependency, you are limiting people from their potential.
The ultimate ideal is to be independent and use that independence to help other people. Not helping people by making them dependent on you. Helping people by freeing them from their dependencies. Don't give men fish to eat, teach them how to fish. Wishing you a very fulfilling Independence Day in every possible way.
(Send your questions to roopshashotm@gmail.com)

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