The cohabitation conundrum
The evolving societal attitudes toward live-in relationships are marked by numerous pros and cons that necessitate careful planning before entering into such arrangements
In the evolving landscape of Indian society, attitudes toward live-in relationships are changing fast. Despite past criticisms from institutions like the Allahabad High Court, recent legal developments, such as the 2024 Uniform Civil Code (UCC) of Uttarakhand, reflect a growing acceptance.
The UCC has proposed registration of live-in relationships within a month, emphasising the evolving legal perspective. It also stated that children born out of such relationships would be considered legitimate. Another suggested clause protects women from potential fraud and abuse. The Bill requires the registrar to send a statement of the live-in relationship to police and notify the partners’ parents or guardians if either partner is under 21.
While in the past, there were no legal implications of such living arrangements, but that is soon proposed to be changed. As Valentine’s Day approaches, it is crucial to examine the intricacies of live-in relationships, weighing both their advantages and disadvantages.
What is a live-in relationship?
“Live-in” or “cohabitation” refers to unmarried couples choosing to share a long-term or permanent emotionally and/or sexually intimate arrangement. It offers an alternative to traditional marriage, allowing partners to assess compatibility without formal commitments. However, concerns about commitment, easy termination, and unclear boundaries contribute to a tainted image.
They may be a good option for those who want to cohabitate but are hesitant to marry due to rising divorce rates and the realisation that they don’t want to commit due to only the social norms. They can end quickly if partners discover they are incompatible after a few months. The latter half—lack of commitment, ease of leaving, and unclear boundaries—makes these relationships criticised by some who believe this practice is tarnishing the Indian society.
Advantages
Live-in relationships, or cohabitation, have many benefits and are successful depending on the couple. Some common benefits:
* Compatibility testing: This firsthand experience can reveal aspects of each other’s personalities, habits, and lifestyle preferences that may not be apparent while dating someone.
* Deeper emotional connection: Exploring other’s strengths, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities, contributing to emotional intimacy.
* Shared responsibilities: Cohabitating couples share responsibilities related to household chores, finances, and other day-to-day tasks.
* Financial benefits: Sharing living expenses can lead to financial compatibility & savings in form of rent, utilities, groceries, and other costs.
* Convenient transition: For some couples, cohabitation serves as a transitional phase before considering marriage. It allows them to test the waters of living together before making a more permanent commitment.
A rose is never without thorns, and while there are advantages of live-in relationships, it is also important to consider the disadvantages.
Disadvantages
Again, an individual perspective plays in here, and each couple is unique. Common disadvantages:
* Lack of formal commitment: One of the primary criticisms of live-in relationships is the perceived lack of formal commitment compared to marriage, leading to uncertainties about the future and long-term stability.
* Potential for less stability & legal issues: In the current legal system there is a lack of clarity about finances, inheritance and status of children born out of such relationships. Hopefully with the changing legislature, this too shall evolve.
* Social stigma: Despite changing societal attitudes, live-in relationships may still face social stigma, judgment or disapproval from family members, friends, or society.
* Financial disputes: Sharing financial responsibilities can be a source of conflict.
* Ease of separation: Couples might find it simpler to separate rather than invest the time needed to address and overcome challenges.
What to remember when planning to live together?
* Communication: Open communication is foundational. Discuss expectations, boundaries, and concerns to establish a shared understanding.
* Expectations, boundaries, finances, and lifestyle: Clarity in defining each partner’s expectations is necessary by setting clear boundaries and discussing finances, lifestyle choices, routines, and preferences to avoid discord.
* Support system: Cultivate a support system outside the relationship to provide emotional stability.
* Red flags and deal breakers: Be aware of warning signs and establish deal breakers early on to address issues promptly.
Entering live-in relationships requires careful consideration of these drawbacks and open communication about expectations, concerns, and long-term goals. Successful cohabitation requires mutual understanding and a willingness to tackle challenges.
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