No darkness lasts forever

Depression is, in part, grief for your own life not turning out how it should; grief for your own needs not being met. There is no normal life that is free of pain. It's the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth. We all go through emotional pain and at times it is unbearable. It looks like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. And Covid-19 has surely gotten us there. With all our lives getting affected and so much happening, that same pain keeps constantly nagging us and makes us feel worthless, empty and melancholy. What we fail to realise is that going through that pain, experiencing it is also a part of healing. It takes time for things to settle and as they often say, it takes time for time to pass by. We're not early, we're not late, we're just on time.

We all feel a little down from time to time. Whether we're going through a difficult time with work, have fallen out with friends or are just physically run-down, most of us feel sad or a little depressed once in a while.

If you're feeling low, is it starting to interfere with your day to day life? Are you not doing things that you used to do? Are you losing motivation in and enjoyment of life? Are you starting to not enjoy your hobbies? Is everything becoming an effort? You don't feel like eating? Do you feel like isolating yourself?

One of the challenges is that patients can feel that nothing will help them. Sometimes it can be difficult to get sufferers to seek help. However, the important part is there are some very good medications and a range of different therapies and medicines from which sufferers can seek help and support as soon as possible, which may help to prevent the depression from worsening.

When to get cautious?

We all feel a little down from time to time. Whether we're going through a difficult time with work, have fallen out with friends or are just physically run-down, most of us feel sad or a little depressed once in a while.

• Trouble sleeping or oversleeping.

• You have a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting out of bed.

• Appetite or weight changes.

• You're overeating, lose your appetite, or experience significant weight gain or loss without dieting (about 20 per cent of your weight).

• Sometimes people get a little rush from eating and so they seek that lift and it leads to over-eating; other times though you may just have no appetite at all.

• Fatigue or decreased energy.

• You feel exhausted all the time, or you feel like you can spend days on the couch or in bed.

• Difficulty thinking clearly or quickly, remembering details, concentrating, or making decisions.

• You feel distracted and focusing seems impossible.

• Irritability, frustration, or pessimism. Your mood and headspace feel negative most of the time.

• Physical aches and pains. You may have headaches, stomachaches, or neck tension.

Answer this series of these 10 questions designed to help you analyse if your symptoms are consistent with depression.

1. Are you suffering from feelings of sadness hopelessness or emptiness?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

2. Do you find it hard to find pleasure in activities you used to enjoy?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

3. Has your appetite changed?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

4. Are you lacking energy and motivation?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

5. Are you having trouble getting to sleep?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

6. Have you had thoughts about harming yourself or ending your life?

(I)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

7. Do you feel guilty for no reason?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

8. Have you recently suffered a traumatic event such as bereavement?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

9. Do you find yourself avoiding friends and family?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

10. Trouble concentrating on things such as reading the newspaper or watching television?

(i)never (ii) occasionally (iii) often (iv) everyday

If your answer for most of the question seems to be always or often in that case you are suffering from depression. The good news is it is completely normal o feel distressed and anxious in depressing situations. All you need is to open up talk about it and consult a general psychiatrist. You can go for therapy and counselling. It is completely normal if you feel depressed in negative scenarios of your life.

Always remember if you want to come out of depression and anxiety you must refuse to stress yourself about things you cannot control or change. Trust yourself, you can and you're halfway there. Go easy on yourself, whatever you do today let it be enough. Anxiety does not come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it.

What to do?

• Any treatment for depression should coincide with maintaining a healthy diet, regular exercise, a productive sleep schedule, and—yes—even mindful self-care practices.

• Exercise helps you better cope with stress, and the endorphins released during exercise may give you a mental boost. Increased research shows that "exercise and physical activity can have significant effects on depression, and particularly in those with mild-to-moderate depression,".

• Meditation is another highly effective way of clearing your head and calming your body.

• You can also try writing down what you feel, I know some people who felt great after expressing their thoughts on paper instead of bottling them inside.

• Talk to close friends and family about your struggles, too. Having a social support system plays a key part in maintaining your mental health and wellbeing.

Recovery is a journey, not a destination. Bad days will still come, but with well-targeted treatment, you should be able to overcome extreme lows. While science has yet to find a cure for mental disorders such as depression, it is entirely possible to live a happy and fulfilling life despite it.

If you know someone who's depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn't a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they're going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It's hard to be a friend to someone who's depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.

No darkness lasts forever. And even there, there are stars.

The writer is a forensic expert and graphologist. Views expressed are personal