A state of being

I identify as an introvert. I often face issues in social situations, jobs, romantic encounters, and more. As I listen more and talk less, I feel like I am missing out. Is it wrong to be an introvert? What can I do to change or improve myself?

Dear Introvert,

You are amazing the way you are. Tweak but don’t change; accept, and embrace yourself.

Who is an introvert?

An introvert is an individual who tends to be more reserved, reflective, and focused inwardly. Introversion is one of the personality traits on the introversion-extroversion spectrum, as identified by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung.

Characteristics of an introvert

Introversion represents a preference for quieter, more solitary environments, and a need for alone time to recharge.

They believe that they regain energy from solitude, prefer small groups or one-on-one selective interactions, choose depth over breadth, and are observant and detail-oriented.

Terms like introvert, ambivert, and extrovert are often overused to define personality. The truth is that most people can be somewhere on this spectrum. Each has its own strengths and challenges. Being an introvert is not inherently wrong or problematic.

Superpowers of introverts

Introverts have the gifts of deep listening, reflective thinking, creativity, independence to spend time alone, and observational skills, to name a few.

Downsides of being an introvert

While introversion comes with many strengths and positive qualities, like any personality trait, it may have some challenges or downsides. These downsides are not universal and may vary from person to person. Some potential challenges for introverts include:

* Social misunderstanding

Introverts may be misunderstood as aloof, unfriendly, or disinterested in social interactions, which can lead to feelings of isolation or exclusion.

* Networking challenges

In professional settings, introverts may find networking events and large social gatherings exhausting, making it challenging to build professional connections as easily as someone who is more extroverted.

* Overthinking and ruminating

Introverts may be more prone to overthinking and ruminating on past events, which can contribute to anxiety or self-doubt.

* Potential for social anxiety

Some introverts may experience social anxiety, which can make social interactions more challenging and emotionally draining.

* Difficulty expressing thoughts in groups and energy drain in social situations

In group settings, introverts may find it challenging to assert themselves or express their thoughts and ideas, especially if the environment is dominated by extroverted individuals. Socialising, particularly in large groups or for extended periods of time, can be draining for introverts. They may need more time alone to recharge their energy.

Harness more superpowers

If you identify as being more introverted and wish to improve upon your overall self, start here:

* Embrace your introversion: Accept and embrace your introverted nature as a valid and normal aspect of who you are.

* Understand your limits: Your social energy limits are different, and you don’t need to try too hard to conform to extroverted norms. It’s okay to prioritise self-care and downtime.

* Be picky about social activities: quality over quantity is key for introverts.

* Develop social skills: practice small talk, active listening, and finding common ground with others. These skills can be honed over time and may boost your confidence in social situations.

* Communicate your needs: Communicate openly about your needs to friends, family, and colleagues.

* Seek understanding from others: Help them understand that your preference for solitude or quiet environments is not a rejection of them, but rather a part of your natural disposition. This can foster understanding and support.

Suggested book reads for introverts:

* ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking’ by Susan Cain: It explores the strengths and qualities of introverts, backed by research and real-life examples.

* ‘The introvert advantage: How to thrive in an extrovert world’ by Marti Olsen Laney: It provides practical advice on how to navigate various aspects of life.

* ‘Introvert Doodles: An illustrated look at introvert life in an extrovert world’ by Maureen Marzi Wilson: This is a fun and relatable illustrated book that humorously captures the daily experiences of introverts.

The goal is not to change your fundamental personality but to find a balance that allows you to navigate social situations more comfortably while honouring your introverted nature.

If you find that your introversion is significantly impacting your daily life and well-being, consider consulting with a mental health expert who can provide personalised guidance and support.

Send your questions to help@dreradutta.com