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Shoot me! Don’t slow poison!

At the risk of being slaughtered with criticism because I apparently have no respect for veterans and senior citizens, I hereby request Dharmendra to get a life and abandon both Bobby and Sunny. Sir, you have done what you could for them but no amount of tube-well uprooting or blonde curls flaunting can save your off-springs. Not anymore.

When Yamla Pagla Deewana did as ‘splendidly’ as was reported, the whole family should have just shifted base, taken up some charity work and something more philanthropic rather than making movies that make us want to kill oneself as painfully as possible. You cannot handle this tourture called
Yamla Pagla Deewana 2
. If it had not been a part of my job description, I would have requested someone to bomb their house. I think I still will.

Directed by Sangeeth Sivan, YPD2 brings back Dharam (Dharmendra), Paramveer (Sunny Deol) and Gajodhar (Bobby Deol).

Dharam and his conman son Gajodhar leave Benares for the UK, to visit son and brother Paramveer – philanthropist par excellence. Gajodhar is to marry Suman (Neha Sharma), daughter of assumed billionaire Sir Yograj (Annu Kapoor) – that is the plan. However, it turns out she’s not his daughter, really. In comes the ‘real’ daughter Reet (Kristina Akheeva) and has Paramveer going gaga over her.

As if this ‘chaos’ is not bad enough, let’s get in some more redundant characters! A Dude-ji (Anupam Kher) and a Johnny Lever and, yes, an orangutan called Einstein (don’t even ask why) and a sumo wrestler (again, don’t ask why).

Pretty much by the end of it all, if you don’t want to publicly flay Sivan you do want to walk out. And that’s what many did. There is no story, am sorry if you expected any. The songs are like a painful calamity of empty vessels trying to charm your senses. I am sorry – I do not hate Punjabis at all – but YPD2 deserves no mercy. After killing Ajay Devgn for Son of Sardar – please, and this is a VERY sincere request – PLEASE kill the Deols next. Just the younger Deols will do since Dharmendra has done enough in his career to be forgiven twice.

Dharam Paaji, we forgive you. But I think this is a very good time to disown the sons. You cannot carry deadweight for too long and you cannot do this to your sparkling past. We loved you in Life in a Metro. Now we are just sorry that you are having to do this.

Sunny and Bobby, dear boys, consider this a warning. The orangutan was more natural on screen. The two stars are only for your father because we still respect senior citizens.
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