Millennium Post

'Sexual exploitation in office is nothing new'

My husband has a lot of female friends. He’s very friendly with them and keeps chatting till late night! If I get irritated and complain, he says I’m over reacting. How do I handle this?
Aarti, Meerut

I understand that this is irritating. You can try to verbally sort this with him. Explain how it affects you. Do tell him that though you trust him completely, too many woman in his life makes you feel a bit uncomfortable, may be you can show your possessiveness towards him! If he still continues, you can try his way. Start interacting with your friends/guy friends or get active on a cyber social network. Pay no attention to him and ignore him completely. Just stop telling him anything and behave as if nothing he does affects you anymore. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss and he might rectify his actions soon.

My best friend is seeing a guy from a different religion. I don’t approve of this relationship. I feel the guy isn’t good for her but she’s adamant!
Preeti, New Delhi

We never understand when others explain. So I feel that your friend will not pay attention to your words till and she feels it herself. I’m sure you have your reasons for disapproval. As a friend do express your feelings to her but don’t expect her to dump the guy based on your opinion. Don’t get too involved. I’m sure in today’s time all of us have our share of problems. Be happy with your life and don’t let external issues burn you.

I have met a girl on Facebook. She chats with me everyday and lives in a different city. I’m in love with her. I feel she loves me too. How should I take the relationship forward?
Neerav, Ghaziabad

Don’t trust the cyber world blindly. There are too many people waiting to crush your imagination. I suggest take it slow. Before you make any decision, do meet this girl and she should meet you too. Love is a wonderful feeling, but sometimes a complicated game. Don’t get obsessed. Time is the biggest test and with time you’ll be able to handle this in a more mature manner. Commit only when you have met in person and spent quality time together.

My boss wants to sleep with me. He’s married and I don’t find him attractive. But, my refusal will lead to problems! Please help.
Unknown, New Delhi

Seduction or sexual exploitation in office isn’t anything new. If you feel you want to avoid his advances, please talk to him and explain that you don’t have any such feelings towards him. You can also point, that you are in a relationship and certainly cannot accept such things. If this leads to any problem, look for a new job. Complaining to HR might help, but may lead to unnecessary gossip at the workplace. Do what you feel is right.

My wife is very scared of anal sex. I love it but can’t convince her.
Mr. Sharma, Ludhiana

Many men enjoy anal sex, but convincing your wife to have anal sex may be a challenge. Talk it out. Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Many women only try anal sex once and then swear it off for life. This is usually because their first attempt was painful. The anus is nerve-packed and with the right kind of stimulation anal play can feel amazing. Unfortunately, the same cluster of nerves responsible for the pleasure can also transmit feelings of pain if your technique is wrong. Perfect the setting. She needs to be relaxed and prepared; anal sex is not suited for a quickie. Getting her aroused is of the utmost importance.

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