Millennium Post

Rock without roll

Three things you should remember to do, if you are planning to watch Rock of ages. Leave your brains behind. Buy loads of popcorn. And thank god for Tom Cruise. Otherwise, this yet another inane Hollywood musical could bury you alive in cheesy sleaze.

Until Cruise makes an appearance, we have to make do with a wannabe Christina Aguilera’s — country singer Julianne hough — pathetic attempt at rock and roll. But then if Aguilera couldn’t get it right in Burlesque, how can we even expect anything from a wannabe, eh?

Then Cruise comes along, literally strutting his stuff and his Jack Daniel’s guzzling monkey, Hey Man. You could almost believe those women falling like nine pins as his rockstar character Stacee Jaxx cruises past them. Apparently, he shaped his character on Guns n’ Roses lead singer Axl Rose. Cruise truly rocks.

Paul Giamatti can literally mould himself into any character: being an oily band manager is no big deal for him. Alec Baldwin plays the owner of a once-rocking, but now almost out-of-business joint, Bourbon Room. He was doing quite a good job, until suddenly he sings a lovey-dovey duet with Russell Brand, who plays his loyal employee and confidante and starts kissing him. The spoof on boy bands was fun too. And Catherine Zeta-Jones as the ex-groupie-turned-prima-donna is fun to watch. But if you want to watch the film, because you are a rock-n-roll fan, just stick to your records. even on his bad-hair day, Joe Elliot of Def Leppard sings Pour some sugar on me better.

Rock of ages is for you if you want mindless fun, with Tom Cruise belting out covers of ‘80s hits. Just don’t expect the rock to roll, though.

Next Story
Share it